Advice in seeking a prospective suitor for marriage

Fatwa ID: 02387

Answered by: Maulana Muhammad Afzal Hussain

Question:

AssalamuAlaikum Mufti Saab.
I am, Male, 27 years old. I am from India, currently working in UAE.
1) I am in search of a good girl for my marriage. But most girls from  India don't want to get married to guys working in UAE and living on a  work visa, someone like me. I am very much tensed about my marriage.

Please give me some Dua or Wazifa to get married soon with a good & beautiful girl and get settled in a very nice place with all the benefits of DEEN and DUNIYA.
2) Currently I am working in private company in UAE. Alhamdulillah my  pay and job is very good. Still, it's not permanent. I am looking for  more ease, relaxed and permanent job. Kindly give me any Dua/Wazifa for the same. Also what are the things I need to do to get what I desire for ?
3) Detailed explanation of the things permitted and impermissible during marital relations. ?
4) My sister lives in USA. My parents live in INDIA. I work here in UAE. I along with my parents want to settle down in USA. But it's quite  difficult for me and my job. Please tell me what are the things that  need to be done to achieve this.

Answer

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

(Answers to 1,2 and 4)

Selecting a Spouse:
The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam. Prophet Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper.” (Muslim:2661/1466) And he said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. “(Bukhari:5090) And he said, “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.” (Muslim:2668/1467)

To have your halal desire fulfilled make excessive duas. Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And your Lord said: `Invoke Me,I will respond to your (invocation).”’ (Ghafir:60)

“Invoke your Lord with humility and in secret. He likes not the aggressors.” (Al-Araf:55)

“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him)) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me.” (Al-Baqarah:186)

“Is not HeWho responds to the distressed one, when he calls on Him, and Who removes the evil?”(An-Naml:62)

Jabir narrates from the Prophet, “Whoever does duaa to Allah, Allah fulfills his seeking or in exchange averts misfortune until the duaais not related to sinor breaking some relation.” (Tirmidhi:3381)

The best times to make Dua is when one is in Sujood, the times between Adhan and Iqamah, as well as at other times as indicated by the following Hadith in which the Prophet said, “The dua of three types of people are not rejected: 1) The dua at the time of iftar for the person who has fasted 2) The dua of a a just ruler 3) The Dua of the oppressed. Allah raises the Dua of the oppressed on the clouds and the doors of heaven are opened for it and Allah says, “Oath of My Majesty and Honour! I will help and aid you. Even though if the help is after few days.” (Tirmidhi)

Another Hadith listed another three in which the Prophet said, Three Duas are such in which there is no doubt of their acceptance: 1) Dua of a Father 2) Dua of a Traveler 3) Dua of the oppressed”. (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)

Also the Prophet said: "There is an hour on Friday, in which no Muslim servant asks during it except that Allah gives him what he asks for." (Muslim:1406/852) It has been narrated that it is the time between when the Imaam comes out to deliver the sermon until the prayer is finished. Also mentioned that it is after Asr. Therefore, supplicate to Allah especially in the times mentioned above InshaAllah Allah will ease things and make an way for you.

(Answer to 3)

Impermissible actions:

1. Anal sex is strictlyforbidden

Although there is no direct verse related to it but there but this is general consensus among s Muslims that Anal sex between husband and wife is not allowed. It is also mentioned in tafsir of the above verse that sex must happen only where it is supposed to be, not in any other place.

Here are some hadiths that proves it is forbidden

Abu Hurairah narrated that "If anyone [resorts to a diviner and believes in what he says (according) to the version of Musa) or] has intercourse with his wife (according to the agreed version) when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad." (Abu Dawood:3895)

In another narration by Ibn Abbas raḥimahullāh (may Allāh have mercy upon him) that Prophet of Allah said: "On the day of resurrection, Allah will not look at a man who had intercourse with his wife in her anus." (Tirmidhi, 1165, Mishkat:3195)

2. Sex during menstruation is forbidden

And they ask you about menstruation. Say, "It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves. (Al Baqarah:222)

This clearly says intercourse during menstruation is not allowed. Although a man can still fondle his wife in other ways, as the prophet used to do it. But his wife's private parts are not allowed for the husband.

3. Sex is not allowed during Fasting

It is made lawful for you, in the nights of fast, to have sex with your women. They are a cover for you and you are a cover for them … and do not have sexual intimacy with them while you are staying in mosques for I'tikaf. These are the limits set by Allah, so do not go near them. Thus Allah manifests His signs to the people that they may be God-fearing. (Al Baqarah:187)

4. Oral sex is impermissible. (see: FatawaRahimiyyah)

All other forms of conjugal relations are allowed.

Only Allah Knows Best

Written by Maulana Muhammad Afzal Hussain

Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birminham

Comments are closed.