Fatwa ID: 03056
Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
Is it ok to kiss the mouth or suck the tongue of your prepubescent daughter or son out of paternal love?
In The Name Of Allah, The Most-Merciful, The Most Kind
Kissing young children is from the mercy which Allah (SWT) which the Prophet (PBUH) taught us.
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kissed-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra' bin H`Abis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqrasaid, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." []
Ibn Batal said that kissing a small child on any of his body parts is permissible, most scholars have also included the same ruling for an older child, and as long as it’s not from the awrah. []
All this is when there is no desire. If there is desire when kissing, it will not be permitted. []
Sucking the tongue of your child is strongly advised against because sucking the tongue is a known precursor to sexual intercourse. As your child reaches the age where they are close to the age of ten (or for a daughter earlier if she reaches puberty before then) you should also stop kissing on the lips, as a prevention of falling into fitna. The Prophet (PBUH) taught us to separate the beds at 10 years of age [], and this also applies for a child with his/parents, so now try to imagine what greater risk there is in kissing your near mature child on the lips and more so sucking their tongue.
In a time where there is so much fitna spreading, where even paedophilia and sexual abuse of children are rife, it is fundamental that we take all precautions to avoid coming close to this source of fitna with the Amanah of one’s own children.
Only Allah (SWT) knows best
Answered By Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham