Fatwa ID: 02481
Answered by: Moulana Muhammad Imad Ali
I am in need of desperate help, I got married in the August of 2016 but I fear my marriage is already over.
Basically, since the beginning of our marriage I've been talking to my cousin brother behind my husband’s back which I know is wrong and I shouldn't have done it, I hate myself for it.
My husband only found out in November of this year from my phone records, and he got so angry, he called my family and that just made things worse because in front of them he said talaq 3 times. My family took that as 3 talaqs and so I've been at my mum’s since.
My husband has been in contact this week, he regrets saying talaq but my family don't want anything to do with him.
He is also saying that it should count as 1 talaq because in the very first week of our marriage he had said to me that if I ever do anything behind his back then we are over, and by "over" he was referring to divorce, and so according to him since I went behind his back in August last year, I was already out of his nikah and had even completed my iddat by December of 2017. My family thinks he's crazy but he's dead serious. I would like to try and save my marriage but I don't know where I stand.
Please can you tell me if I have a chance to go back or is it full 3 talaqs now and halala. And can you please answer as soon as possible; my life is such a mess right now.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحي
First of all one should never talk ill/bad regarding any person, whether it’s in front of the person or behind the persons back as Allah mentioned in the Quran:
“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, (so similarly, avoid backbiting). And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Surah 49: Hujarat Ayah: 12)
Regarding your question there are two priorities that need to be looked into.
First one is the Intention of his condition/oath, what did he specifically mean when he attached the condition to the divorce.
Second one is regarding did he do ruju in the three months period.
Now if you did something behind his back and it met the condition (intention of his conditional divorce) then the nikah has ended and was over when you did the act behind his back. So in that case to reconcile you would just need to redo the nikah when your Iddat finished.
However, we will need more details as to what your husband specifically said to you when he affixed the condition to the divorce.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Moulana Muhammad Imad Ali
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham