{"id":26751,"date":"2022-11-13T02:36:03","date_gmt":"2022-11-13T02:36:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=26751"},"modified":"2022-11-13T02:48:11","modified_gmt":"2022-11-13T02:48:11","slug":"enduring-an-abusive-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/enduring-an-abusive-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Enduring an Abusive Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Fatwa ID: 06336<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Answered by: Mufti Tammim Mohamadou<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><strong><u>Question:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">I am in a long enduring abusive marriage. My husband does not respect me at all, and I have to share a bedroom with my teen daughter. I have two teens for whom I&#8217;ve come back home repeatedly after deciding to leave after violent episodes. I made a lot of promises just two months ago and I believed again. My in-laws have a big hand in my issues. My husband is now buying a home without me, and I&#8217;m scared to join as I will have nothing to my name and the abuse will likely get worse when I have no rights in his home. I&#8217;m in social housing and the lease is in both names.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">I&#8217;m stuck and have been made a fool once again and cannot approach my family anymore. I&#8217;m so scared and do not want to jeopardize my kid&#8217;s future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">What should I do, the father-in-law that intervened in my situation previously is no longer taking my calls as my husband has instructed them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><strong><u>In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><strong><u>Answer:<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">We ask that Allah \ufdfb to relieve your pain and suffering; we also ask that He grants you much more goodness in return for the hardships you have been dealing with patiently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">As far as your question is concerned, you should:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Turn to Allah \ufdfb with repentance, supplication and Sadaqah,<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">It is reported by Sayyiduna Anas bin Malik (\u0631\u0636\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0646\u0647) that the Prophet (\ufdfa) said: \u201cThe supplication is the essence of worship.\u201d (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3371)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">It is reported by Sayyiduna Ka\u2019b ibn Ujrah and others (\u0631\u0636\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0646\u0647\u0645) that The Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) said: \u201cSadaqah (charity) extinguishes sins just as water extinguishes fire.\u201d (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 614)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Make du\u2019a for your husband for his change and improvement for a better<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">It is reported by Sayyiduna &#8216;Abdullah bin &#8216;Amr (\u0631\u0636\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0646\u0647\u0645\u0627) that the Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) said: &#8220;No supplication is more readily responded to, than the supplication made for someone who is absent.&#8221; (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1980)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Speak up and share your concern with your husband,<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">It is reported by &#8216;Abdullah ibn Mas\u2019ud that the Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) said: \u201cIt is obligatory for you to tell the truth, for the truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and the man who continues to speak the truth and endeavours, to tell the truth, is eventually recorded as truthful with Allah, and beware of telling of a lie for telling of a lie leads to obscenity and obscenity leads to Hell-Fire, and the person who keeps telling lies and endeavours to tell a lie is recorded as a liar with Allah.\u201d (Sahih Muslim 2607c)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Seek good counsel from neutral elders of the family or scholars<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">It is reported by Sayyiduna Ma\u2019qil ibn Yasar (\u0631\u0636\u064a \u0627\u0644\u0644\u0647 \u0639\u0646\u0647) that he heard the Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) saying: \u201cAny man whom Allah has given the authority of ruling some people and does not protect them with good counsel will not smell the fragrance of paradise.\u201d (Sahih al-Bukhari 7150)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Despite all your effort and patience, if the situation of your marriage has not improved in the future then you may try to find relief in separation whether temporary or permanent through a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Allah \ufdfb said in the Holy Qur\u2019an:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">\u201c<strong>Now, if you apprehend that they would not maintain the limits set by Allah, then, there is no sin on them in what she gives up to secure her release. These are the limits set by Allah. Therefore, do not exceed them. And whosoever exceeds limits set by Allah, then, those are the transgressors.<\/strong>\u201d (Surah al-Baqarah, v229)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">\u201c<strong>And if they resolve to divorce, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.<\/strong>\u201d (Surah al-Baqarah, v227)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Due to the delicate nature of matrimonial cases, it is important that you seek further advice and support from a supportive family, a local scholar body, an elder, or a support group and go through the specifics of your case, in sh\u0101 Allah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Only Allah (\ufdfb) knows best.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Written by Maulana Tammim Mohamadou<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\">Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fatwa ID: 06336 &nbsp; Answered by: Mufti Tammim Mohamadou &nbsp; Question: &nbsp; I am in a long enduring abusive marriage. My husband does not respect&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26751"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26751"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26751\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26772,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26751\/revisions\/26772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}