{"id":37978,"date":"2025-08-21T11:09:14","date_gmt":"2025-08-21T11:09:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/?p=37978"},"modified":"2025-08-23T00:14:16","modified_gmt":"2025-08-23T00:14:16","slug":"nikah-without-compatibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/nikah-without-compatibility\/","title":{"rendered":"Kafa\u2019a Between My Daughter & Boy She Wishes To Marry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fatwa ID: 08296<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Answered by Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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In Sep 2024 (approx) a boy and his family asked to marry my youngest daughter, Khadijah (not her real name).\u00a0 I refused because I was not happy with the quality of his deen, e.g. major sins like regularly missing Jumma, taking a loan on interest, and regularly missing salah in the masjid.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My daughter Khadijah still wishes to go ahead and marry the boy.\u00a0 I have explicitly told her no, she cannot marry him.\u00a0 We are a family who follow Hanafi fiqh.\u00a0 I am aware that in Hanafi fiqh the wali permission is not required and the marriage is valid without it.\u00a0 However, from an article on the daruliftaa.com website, I read that \u2018kafaa\u2019 has to be present.\u00a0 Please can I present the following points and please can you answer if \u2018kafaa\u2019 is present?<\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. Islamic schooling: My wife & I sent Khadijah (and all our other children) to an Islamic school for every year of her schooling.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s parents sent him to a state-school, run and managed by kaafir teachers following a kaafir syllabus.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Halal earnings: All the money earned in our house is 100% halal.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s father earned haram for many years as a manager of a riba-based bank.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Purdah: My wife & I have instilled the concept of purdah in Khadijah and all our children.\u00a0 They visit relatives but sit in a separate room to ghair mahrams.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s family do not adhere to purdah.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Salah: Since becoming baaligh, Khadijah has prayed all her salah on time except maybe the odd occasion of waking up late for fajr.\u00a0 She went to an Islamic school so even during the school day she prayed salah on time.\u00a0 The boy has regularly missed jumma according to his father, citing the reason that he has work.\u00a0 This is during his work life.\u00a0 During his school life he missed the time of many salahs, even though he was baaligh at the time.<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Free-mixing: Khadijah went to an al-girls Islamic school (Jameah Girls Academy) for every year of her schooling since being baaligh.\u00a0 She never interacted with any male students or any male teachers.\u00a0 The boy went to a mixed-gender school, college, then university and interacted with female students and female teachers regularly.<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Music & dancing: Khadijah went to an Islamic school and was not exposed to music and dancing.\u00a0 The boy went to a state-school and has been exposed to music and dancing as part of assemblies, lessons and school events.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Bad-language: Khadijah went to an all-girls Islamic school and has very limited exposure to bad-language from a limited number of students.\u00a0 The boy went to a state-school where bad language is used by lots of students regularly.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. Exposure to awra: Khadijah went to an all-girls Islamic school and has not been exposed to part of the male awra.\u00a0 The boy went to a state-school, then college, then university and has been exposed to parts of the female awra many times.<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. Private schooling: From a dunya point of view, the Islamic school that Khadijah went to (Al Aqsa then JGA) is considered to be a \u2018private\u2019 school.\u00a0 The boy went to a state-school.\u00a0 From a dunya point of view a \u2018private school education\u2019 is considered to be superior to a state-school education.<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. Teacher role-models: Khadijah went to Jamea Girls Academy, where her teachers were qualified aalimas.\u00a0 The boy went to a state-school where most of his teachers were kaafir.<\/span><\/li>\n
  11. Islamic learning: Khadijah attended JGA up to year 11.\u00a0 As such she studied basic nahw and sarf, Quran translation, Fiqh.\u00a0 The boy has not studied to this level, going to an after-school madrassa for Quran reading mainly.<\/span><\/li>\n
  12. Adherence to sunnah: My wife & I have taught our children and Khadijah adherence to sunnah.\u00a0 We sit on the floor to eat, we wear Islamic clothes.\u00a0 Khadijah wears hijab & jalbiya.\u00a0 The boy does not cover his head and has a makhroo hair cut.<\/span><\/li>\n
  13. Interest-based loan: My wife & I have taught Khadijah & all our children the importance of shariah.\u00a0 We did not take an interest-based mortgage to buy our house.\u00a0 Khadijah has not taken any loan on interest, ever.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s family house was purchased with an interest-mortgage.\u00a0 The boy took an interest-based loan to pay for his university fees.<\/span><\/li>\n
  14. Salah-location: When not at work, Khadijah prays her salah in the best location for a woman \u2013 her home.\u00a0 When the boy is not at work, he does not tend to pray his salah in the best location for a man, the masjid, but prays many at home.\u00a0 For example, he never prays fajr in the masjid (as at the time of coming to ask to marry Khadijah this was the situation).<\/span><\/li>\n
  15. TV: Khadijah has been raised in a house without a TV, whereas the boy has been raised in a house with a TV.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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    Answer:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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    I have mentioned below some information regarding Kaf\u0101\u2019ah (equality\/compatibility). It is incorrect for a woman to marry herself off to someone who is not compatible (Kaf\u0101\u2019ah). According to Imam Hasan bin Ziy\u0101d, whose opinion is chosen for this particular Mas\u2019alah, if she were to marry herself off (without the permission of her Wal\u012b) to someone incompatible, the Nik\u0101h would not happen. Imam Abu Hanifah and Imam Abu Yusuf say the Nik\u0101h would happen but the Awliy\u0101\u2019 (guardians) have the right to object. Based on the information provided, it may be that the person is not compatible with your daughter in religiosity. It is important to understand that Nik\u0101h was legislated to be easy and protect people from falling into sin. If preventing your daughter from marrying this person will cause problems, then it is better to agree to the marriage and make it easy for the couple. Otherwise, it would be better to find your daughter someone who is a better match for her in religiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

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    Fat\u0101w\u0101 Hindiyyah:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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    (Chapter Five: On Equal Men) Equality is considered in men for women in order for marriage to be binding, as stated in Muhit al-Sarakhsi. However, it is not considered in women for men, as stated in al-Bada\u2019i\u2019. So if a woman marries a man better than her; The guardian has no right to differentiate between them, as the guardian is not disgraced by the fact that the man has someone under his care who is not equal to him. This is stated in the explanation of Al-Mabsut by Imam Al-Sarakhsi.<\/span><\/p>\n

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    Compatibility is considered in several matters (including lineage) …<\/span><\/p>\n

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    (And among them is the Islam of the fathers). A person who has converted to Islam and has no father in Islam is not compatible with someone who has one father in Islam. …<\/span><\/p>\n

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    (And among them is financial compatibility), which is that he owns the dowry and maintenance, and this is what is considered in the apparent meaning of the narration, to the extent that someone who does not own both or does not own one of them, he is not a suitable match. This is stated in Al-Hidayah, whether the woman is wealthy or poor….<\/span><\/p>\n

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    (And among them is religiosity). Compatibility is considered in religiosity. This is the opinion of Abu Han\u012bfah and Abu Yusuf – may God Almighty have mercy on them – and it is the correct opinion. This is stated in Al-Hidayah. So, the immoral person [F\u0101siq] is not a suitable match for the righteous woman. \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

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    Then, if a woman marries herself to someone who is not suitable for her, the marriage is valid, according to the apparent meaning of the narration from Abu Hanifa – may God Almighty have mercy on him – and it is the last statement of Abu Yusuf – may God Almighty have mercy on him – and the last statement of Muhammad – may God Almighty have mercy on him – also, so that before separation, the ruling of divorce, zihar, ila\u2019, inheritance, and other things are established. However, Guardians have the right to object. Al-Hasan narrated on the authority of Abu Hanifa – may God Almighty have mercy on him – that the marriage contract is not valid. Many of our sheikhs – may God Almighty have mercy on them – took this view. This is the view of Al-Muhit and Al-Mukhtar. What\u2019s chosen in our time is the narration of Al-Hasan. Sheikh Imam Shams Al-A’immah Al-Sarakhsi said: Al-Hasan’s narration is closer to precaution. Like this is in Fatawa Qadi Khan in the chapter on the conditions of marriage. \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

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    If she marries herself to someone who is not suitable for her without the guardian\u2019s consent, and the guardian collects her dowry and provides\/prepares for her, then this is his consent and submission.<\/span><\/p>\n

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    Only Allah knows best<\/span><\/p>\n

    Written by Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad<\/span><\/p>\n

    Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah<\/span><\/p>\n

    Darul Ifta Birmingham<\/span><\/p>\n

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    …<\/span><\/p>\n

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    …<\/span><\/p>\n

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    …<\/span><\/p>\n

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    (Al-Fat\u0101w\u0101 Al-Hindiyyah<\/a>, vol. 1, pg. 290-292, Al-Ma\u1e6dba\u2019ah Al-Kubr\u0101 Al-Am\u012briyyah)<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Fatwa ID: 08296     Answered by Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad   Question:   In Sep 2024 (approx) a boy and his family asked to marry…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37978"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37978"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37978\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38671,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37978\/revisions\/38671"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daruliftabirmingham.co.uk\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}