How to treat your stepmother

Fatwa ID: 03063

Answered by:  Maulana Muqtaur Rahman

Question:

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

I have a question regarding how to treat stepmother, my father died a month ago and he has a second wife the first wife has passed away (MY MOTHER) a few years back.

The stepmother has loved and taken care of my father beautifully, before his death he had requested me and my siblings to treat her with respect and love but except me, my brother and sister don’t believe in treating or caring for her, My problem is I don’t live in the same country but my stepmother and my siblings live near each other they did not allow her to live in the house where my father was living with her they say show us in The Quran where it is written that we must respect or care for her.

It’s very important for me because this was my father’s dying wish, I could see he was scared of leaving her and dying.


I would be very grateful if you can help me out with some proof of Ayat. Once I show them your reply I will be at ease that I have done my best to make them realize after this if they still don’t listen or believe then it is between ALLAH and them.

Answer:

 

In The Name Of Allah, The Most-Merciful, The Most Kind

 

After the rights of Allah on human beings comes the rights of our parents. Allah mentions this in the Quran: “And your Lord has decreed that you do not worship except Him, and towards parents, good conduct.”[1]

We know that a stepmother can never take the place of one’s own mother, but as she is the wife of your father, she should be shown the same amount of respect as you would show to your own mother. Remember that any form of disrespect towards her would have hurt your father.

The prophet (peace be upon him) mentions: “one of the best acts of dutifulness is a person’s good conduct towards the loved ones of his/her father.”[2]

Also, one will be questioned for all behaviours on the day of judgement, for the good and for the bad as Allah mentions: “So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it, and whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it.”[3]

 

Only Allah knows best

Written by Maulana Muqtaur Rahman

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham


[1]Surah Isra – Ayah 23

[2]Sahih Muslim – 2552

[3]Surah Zilzal – Ayah 7-8

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