Marriage dilemma

Fatwa ID: 02384

Answered by: Maulana Javed ibn Nazir Kachhalia

Question:

Salaam Sheikh/Mufti/Molana,
Hope you are well and in the best of health.
Just wanted some important advice on what to do regarding my marriage.
Basically, I’m going through a tough time at the moment I clearly want to marry someone that is a practising Muslim but is not from the same culture as me hence why my parent(s) are against this, they have said many things like what will society think and trying to tell me to cut ties with the woman I am intending to marry. The issue is that my father is trying to make me married to a cousin from back home but I don’t want to marry there I want to marry the woman I like, I just don’t know what to do at the moment I’m getting pressured by my Mum one end to stop talking with the women and the other end my father is completely wanting me to marry back home (cousin). What’s the best option for me to take ahead? I don’t want to make my family unhappy but on the other hand I don’t even want to delay a nikah because I believe that she is the person I want to marry despite the clash of culture.
I’m thinking of if there is any type of options to take ahead according to the Quran and sunnah in terms of going ahead towards the marriage?
Please note also- if I go ahead marrying this woman then my father will most likely disown me.

Answer

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Respected Brother;

If you have any communication with this girl that you are thinking in marrying, this is not permissible. Yes, if you don’t have any communication, but you’ve only seen her by chance and you want to send a proposal to them, this is permissible.

Having any contact or relationship with a girl before marriage is strictly prohibited and unlawful in Islam. This is nothing but Satan trying to lead you astray.

Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has said, "Verily Satan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire." (Surah Fatir v.6)

Now, don’t let Satan take you towards immorality and shameful acts. So if you have any kind of communication, make sure those are cut off straight away.

The next step, perform the prayer of guidance (Salat al-Istikhara) and ask Allah to guide you.

(You can find the procedure and dua on the following link: http://daruliftabirmingham.co.uk/dua-istikharah/)

If marriage with her is destined for you, you will marry her; otherwise Allah may choose someone better for you.

Parents should consider the choice and desire made by the sons or daughters in marriage. The sons/daughters are requested to present their choices in front of their parents, but at the same let them decide and be content with their decision. They’ve had the experience, and Insha’Allah they will make the correct choice. Also, seek Allah’s help and guidance through Istikhara. (Aap ke Masail aur unke Hal Vol 5, Pg 29, Maktabah Ludhyanwi)

Only Allah knows best.

Written by Maulana Javed ibn Nazir Kachhalia

Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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