Patience during the time of sorrow and heartache

CategoriesDeath & Burial [135]

Fatwa ID: 01322

Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Question:

Assalaamualaikum Respected Ulama I hope this e-mail reaches you in the best of health. I am currently in need of advice and I sincerely hope I will not be burdening you if I ask of your help. A few years ago I was involved in a motor vehicle accident and lost both my parents. My three younger brothers and sister all survived. Alhamdulillah we were fortunate enough to have family around us that took us in and treated us as their own children. My siblings and I are now separated between two houses. I miss my parents so much and continue to make dua for them. I have been making sabr but this grief and sorrow that I feel seems to intensify as each day passes by. Please can I have some advice on the matter. May Allah reward you abundantly

Answer:

Bismillah

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.

When Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) inflicts any hardships or calamity upon anyone, the purpose for this is to either test his true servants as Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) in the Holy Quran has said,

“Be sure we shall test you with something of fear, and hunger and some loss of wealth and lives and fruits and glad tidings to those that bear patience”.  (Suarh Baqarah v.156)

Sometimes it so happens for it to be a lesson for the people coming after not to commit that deed again as Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) states in the Holy Quran:

“And indeed before you we sent (Messengers) too many nations so we seized them with suffering and adversity so that they may fall into humility.”  (Surah Anaam v.42)

Or these tests can be a means of purification for the pious people.  The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) has said when a persons sins increases and nothing remains to remove it then Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He)  inflicts this person with such sorrow which expiates his sins.  (Tafsir Ibn Kathir)

Saaiduna Anas raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Whenever Allah intends to do good to a servant, He hastens to punish him in this world. And whenever Allah intends evil for a servant, He postpones the punishment until the Day of Judgement.” (Sunan Tirmizi p.65 v.2)

The meaning of this hadith is that he is punished by being inflicted with afflictions and difficulties due to the sins he has committed, due to which he is cleansed from them all, and in the Hereafter he has no sins to account for. (Duruus Tirmizi p.265 v.4)

Likewise, in another hadith the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Whenever Allah loves a people, He sends affliction upon them. So whoever is patient is one of the patient-ones, and whoever resents it, is one of those who resent.” (Musnad Ahmad p.427 v.5)

There are many virtues of Sabr.

  1. The Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Sabr is light.” (Sahih Muslim p.118 v.1)  
  2. Saaiduna Abu Saeed Al Khudri raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “No one has been given anything more excellent and more comprehensive than sabr.” (Sahih Bukhari)
  3. Saaiduna Ali raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) said, “Indeed sabr is from Imaan (faith). Its position is like that of the head with respect to the rest of the body.” Then he raised his voice and said, “Verily, there is no Imaan (faith) for the one who has no sabr.” (Imam Baihaqi in his Shuabul Imaan)

There are two things required for patience. One is to be happy with Allah’s decree. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He)  is “Hakeem” and whatever he decides there is good in that. Thus, we should do sabr on what Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has decreed for us. The scholars have mentioned that sabr is of three kinds:

  1. Sabr whilst fulfillingthe orders of Allah.
  2. Sabr whilst (abandoning and keeping away) from the prohibitions of Allah.
  3. Sabr with the Decree of Allah with respect to afflictions and difficulties. (Maariful Qur’an p.401 v.1)

Another point which is part of sabr is to refrain from being sorrow and in distress intentionally. If one is feeling heartache and sorrow in his heart naturally, then that does not negate sabr. (Dars Tirmizi p.271 v.3)

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

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