Saying you are finished you are free to go

Fatwa ID: 02406

Answered by: Molana Eunus Ali

Question:

Asalaam u alaikum.

On july the 11th me and my husband got married in Ireland. My husband went to pakistan 20th july. I was living in the uk. We started having arguments and he started threatening me saying if i dont listen he will divorce me. He repeatedly threatened. in the summer July/august i was in the park where there was no signal. He obviously could not get through to me. Finally when he did he started shouting saying "where are you, why are you not answering" i replied " my phone had no signal" he didnt want to listen and said u better go home or i will divorce you". I got angry and said " i will in a bit" he got angry and said " this is it me and you are finished, your free to go live your life' . Prior to this he has threatened me about giving me divorce. obviously due to our lack of deen we never understood this could be one. After that i went pakistan in august for 9 days. Upon return he started again threatening over things that he will divorce me. In september i found out i was pregnant. He again started threatening he will divorce me and kept putting phone down because i was always giving him headache.He again repeated a similar line " get lost we are finished your free to go find another man" I just cried. He would always say " get lost" but in those 2 instances as far as i know he said your free to go after threatening me for some time. I then suffered a miscarriage on november 1st i was almost 12 weeks pregnant ( 11 weeks 4 days). He was in  pakistan since july. So i wanted to ask do these count as 2 talaqs even though he says his intention was not after constantly threatening me. also if yes would my iddah period expire once i miscarried or continue from september for 3 menstrual cycles. However on 30thnovember due to being threatened he gave me 3 talaqs at once. He repented severely. My questions are do these 3 in 1 talaqa even count. if the first 2 are valid and iddah expired so i was not even his wife wen he gave the 3 in 1. I have contacted another mufti who are saying that that could be the case and it needs to be looked at carefully. He says he never intented to divorce me the first 2 times but he constantly threatened me. so is it true that he might not have intended but due to always threatening he knew wot he was saying then. Also i understand the 1st time if that is valid we got back so that would be ok. second time he said like that i miscarried so would my iddah expire 1st november if not 3 cycles still would be before the 30th november. I am very confused and i understand either way if 2 were given talaq is done due to iddah expiring and he never done rujoo or we lived as husband wife as he was in pakistan. I want to know would i have to do another nikkah with him if the 2 count or will the 3 in 1 count. He came into the uk 17th december 2016. He admits threatening to divorce me constantly which is why i believe the 2 count and my iddah expired so when he said the 3 in 1 go i was not his wife. Please clear this matter. Allah knows best and is the most forgiving. i have told all truth and what i remember. jazakallahkhai.

Answer

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Firstly I would like to explain the general rulings of talaq:

When the husband has clearly issued one ortwo talaqs, regardless of it being issued verbally or in a written form, the wife will start her waiting period immediately. During this waiting period if the couple decide to reconcile their marriage, they will be permitted to do so without performing a new marriage.[1]

If the husband has issued three explicit talaqs, whether it be on three separate occasions or in one go, it will notbe permissible for the couple to reconcile or remarry until the wife marries a second person and consummates the marriage with him; thereafter the second husband either divorces her or dies. Then only after completing her waiting period (from the second husband) would the wife be allowed to re-marry the first husband. This process is termed halalah.[2]

Note: When the talaq is explicit and clear, the intention of the husband will notbe taken into consideration and by the mere issuing of the talaq the effect will take place.[3]

When the husband uses certain unclear phrases (whereby one cannot determine whether it is a general statement or talaq is intended) such as “you are not wife material,” “I have had enough of you” or “get lost” are used (this is known as talaq kinayah in Arabic), which are accompanied with the intention of talaq, a divorce absolute (talaq bain) will take place. This means that the wife will begin her waiting period immediately and it will not be permissible for the couple to reconcile their marriage without repeating the nikah, in which consent from both parties are required etc. [4]

Note: When the talaq is implicit and not clear, the intention of the husband willbe taken into consideration and without the intention a talaq will not be issued.[5]

In regards to you question there are number of things that need to be mentioned:

If the two statements “you are free” and “get lost” were uttered by the husband with the intention of talaq then a divorce absolute would have taken place and the ruling of it will take effect as mentioned above. However the ruling of an unclear statement for talaq is based on the intention of the husband. And in your case the husband has clearly stated that he did not intend talaq, hence a ruling of talaq cannot be given.

If the husband is lying about his intention, then surely he will have to answer for it to Allah on the day of judgement who will exercise justice.

Furthermore there is no option of rujoo when an ambiguous or unclear statement is used to issue a talaq; rather the Nikah will have to be performed again.

As a talaq cannot be issued from the above two statements, there will be no Iddah to complete.

The three talaqs however, that the husband has issued at one timeis valid and will take effect.

Talaq is not an issue which can be discarded or overlooked through repentance.

Immediately after the utterance of the three talaqs your Iddah had begun and your marriage with him is no longer valid.

After the completion of your Iddah you are able to marry elsewhere.

If you wish to reconcile your marriage, the process of Halalah will need to be completed as mentioned above.

Only Allah knows best

Written by Molana Eunus Ali

DarulIfta Birmingham.

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah


[1]Al-Lubab Fi ShahrilKitaab, Page 453, Al-MaktabatulUmariyyah

[2]RaddulMuhtar, Volume 4, Page 434, DarulKutubulIlmiyyah

[3]Al-Badai’ As-Sanai, Volume 4, Page 222, DarulKutubulIlmiyyah

[4]Al-Lubab Fi Sharh Al-Kitab, Page 444, Al-MaktabatulUmariyyah

[5]Ibid

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