Fatwa ID: 08867
Answered by: Maulana Nuski Cassim
Question:
In an argument with my husband I said to him that if I was having so many issues then he was supposed to give me divorce 10 years back. Why was he was living with me from so many years? Then my husband asked in Urdu, ab day deta hun ya ab day dunn. Then he stopped and nothing happened I just said ab kya faida. I just want to ask that by these sentences is there any issue? As my husband said he did not give and also was not having intention he was just asking from me my intention.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
From the outset, it should be noted and deeply understood that the unnecessary and loose discussion, mention and ill-thought provocation of divorce is a serious matter that can bring about unfavourable and regrettable consequences.
All couples go through problems—this is an unavoidable reality. Hence, it is important that couples try their best in weathering the storm of disputes and problems.
Divorce is not something which will intrinsically remove problems and disputes. Yes, in a toxic marriage or one that has irreconcilable differences, divorce may be the answer—but only after having taken the necessary steps to try and mend the marriage and seek resolve.
In the absence of these reasons, however, one should not haphazardly ask or provoke one’s husband towards the issuance of divorce.
“ ثَلاَثٌ جِدُّهُنَّ جِدٌّ وَهَزْلُهُنَّ جِدٌّ النِّكَاحُ وَالطَّلاَقُ وَالرَّجْعَةُ ”.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final)” – [سنن أبي داود، رقم الحديث: ٢١٩٤]
As for ‘ab day deta hun ya ab day hunn’ (I will give it now or shall I give it now), this statement does not constitute divorce. It is a statement that is connected to the future in addition to being a question.[1]
Divorce is given through words mentioned in the past tense or present tense. Thus, divorce did not occur.
Nevertheless, it is imperative, going forward, that you become cautious of discussing or mentioning divorce without reason or due cause as common domestic problems, arguments and fights do not warrant it.
References:
1.
حَتَّى لو قال: شِئْتُ طَلَاقَكِ يقع إذا نوى لأنّه إيقاع مبتدأ إذ المشيئة تُنْبِئُ عن الوجود، بخلاف قوْله أردْت طلاقك لأنّهُ لا يُنْبِئُ عن الوجود.
الَّذِي ليس بصالِح لِلإيقاع به نَحْوُ اسْقِنِي.
(حَتَّى لو قال: شِئْت طَلَاقَك يَنْوِيهِ وقع لأنّ المشيئة تُنْبِئُ عن الوجود) لأنّها من الشّيء وهو الموجود (بخلاف ما لو قال: أَرَدْتُ طَلَاقَكِ لأنّه لا ينْبئ عن الوجود) بل هي طلب لنفس الوجود عن مَيْل، وغاية الأمر أنّ المشيئة والْإرادة في صفة العباد مختلفان
[فتح القدير، باب تفويض الطلاق، ج. ٤، صفحة ١٠٤، دار الفكر]
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Nuski Cassim
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham