Fatwa ID: 08997
Answered by Maulana Abdurrahman Persaud
Question:
ASSALAAMU ‘ALAIKUM
The small acts of foreplay for more than 7 years never resulted in penetration (actual sex) or me reaching full gratification from it. My husband also has premature ejaculation problem and is not dealing with it for over 10 years.
- In my situation can the use of sex toys, fingering inside my vagina and oral and cunnilingus sex be done by both spouses on each other without the intention of intercourse taking place afterwards.
- In thehanafimadhab will it still be a sin if during oral sex and cunnilingus sex the discharge enters the mouth but is spat out without any discharge being swallowed.
- If it is a sin, then can I take the Shafi ruling in this case. As I am finding it difficult in getting sexually fulfilled can I take the view of oral sex/ cunnilingus in the Shafi madhab without the intention of sex taking place afterwards. Please note I have never taken a ruling from another madhab before and never asked a mufti if I could. This is the first time I am asking.
- Can my husband look at my vagina and from the navel to the knees during my menses without touching it?
- Can my husband use a sex toy on me during my menses (without sex taking place). Ifsocan the sex toy directly touch my private area (without inserting in the vagina) but my husband will just be holding it for me without touching me physically in that region during my menses.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
The usage of toys will be permitted with a few guidelines:
- It should not cause any harm externally or internally.
- It should not be inserted into the private part; rather, it should only be used to stimulate the other areas.
- It should only be a means to enhance intercourse, not to substitute it.
- It should not be used so much that without it, sexual ratification cannot be accomplished.
- And it cannot be used by oneself, but must be used by the spouse, as this would result in masturbation.[1]
It is essential that your husband seek medical advice to try to rectify his problem with PE and be willing to assist in finding a solution.
At the outset, it is essential to note the emphasis the sharia places on modesty and shame. The Holy Prophet ﷺ said:
عَنْ أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ عُقْبَةَ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ مِمَّا أَدْرَكَ النَّاسُ مِنْ كَلَامِ النُّبُوَّةِ إِذَا لَمْ تَسْتَحْيِ فَافْعَلْ مَا شِئْتَ
“Indeed, surely people will come to know the words of prophethood. If you do not have shame, then do as you wish.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, 4/183, Dar Al-Fikr)
The scholars have ruled oral sex to be makruh tahreemi (close to haram) due to shame and the immodest nature of the act, and the strong possibility that najis (impure) fluids enter the mouth. Using such an honourable part of our body that we use to read the Quran and glorify the Creator to do such actions is highly detested.
Taking the shafie ruling on such a matter would be discouraged since all other rulings connecting to this matter would have to be considered and ultimately be a breach of consistency and sincerity.
In regard to looking at the private areas, it will be permissible but not encouraged, especially during menses.[2]
During menses a woman may enjoy the company of her spouse from what is above the navel and below the knee; no direct contact should be made.[3]
Only Allah ﷻ knows best.
Written by Maulana Abdurrahman Persaud
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1]
Fataawa Darul-Uloom Zakariyya. V. 4 Pg. 431
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ يَحْيَى أَبُو الأَصْبَغِ، حَدَّثَنِي مُحَمَّدٌ، – يَعْنِي ابْنَ سَلَمَةَ – عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ أَبَانَ بْنِ صَالِحٍ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ إِنَّ ابْنَ عُمَرَ – وَاللَّهُ يَغْفِرُ لَهُ – أَوْهَمَ إِنَّمَا كَانَ هَذَا الْحَىُّ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ – وَهُمْ أَهْلُ وَثَنٍ – مَعَ هَذَا الْحَىِّ مِنْ يَهُودَ – وَهُمْ أَهْلُ كِتَابٍ – وَكَانُوا يَرَوْنَ لَهُمْ فَضْلاً عَلَيْهِمْ فِي الْعِلْمِ فَكَانُوا يَقْتَدُونَ بِكَثِيرٍ مِنْ فِعْلِهِمْ وَكَانَ مِنْ أَمْرِ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ أَنْ لاَ يَأْتُوا النِّسَاءَ إِلاَّ عَلَى حَرْفٍ وَذَلِكَ أَسْتَرُ مَا تَكُونُ الْمَرْأَةُ فَكَانَ هَذَا الْحَىُّ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ قَدْ أَخَذُوا بِذَلِكَ مِنْ فِعْلِهِمْ وَكَانَ هَذَا الْحَىُّ مِنْ قُرَيْشٍ يَشْرَحُونَ النِّسَاءَ شَرْحًا مُنْكَرًا وَيَتَلَذَّذُونَ مِنْهُنَّ مُقْبِلاَتٍ وَمُدْبِرَاتٍ وَمُسْتَلْقِيَاتٍ فَلَمَّا قَدِمَ الْمُهَاجِرُونَ الْمَدِينَةَ تَزَوَّجَ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمُ امْرَأَةً مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ فَذَهَبَ يَصْنَعُ بِهَا ذَلِكَ فَأَنْكَرَتْهُ عَلَيْهِ وَقَالَتْ إِنَّمَا كُنَّا نُؤْتَى عَلَى حَرْفٍ فَاصْنَعْ ذَلِكَ وَإِلاَّ فَاجْتَنِبْنِي حَتَّى شَرِيَ أَمْرُهُمَا فَبَلَغَ ذَلِكَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ { نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ } أَىْ مُقْبِلاَتٍ وَمُدْبِرَاتٍ وَمُسْتَلْقِيَاتٍ يَعْنِي بِذَلِكَ مَوْضِعَ الْوَلَدِ .
(Sunan Abi Dawud 2164.Book 12, Hadith 119
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/28476
https://daruliftabirmingham.co.uk/home/can-spouses-use-sex-toys/
[2]
في النوازل إذا أدخل الرجل ذكره في فم امرأته قد قيل يكره
(Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/372, Rashidiyya)
إذا أدخل الرجل ذكره فم أمرأته فقد قيل: يكره؛ لأنه موضع قراءة القرآن، فلا يليق به إدخال الذكر فيه، وقد قيل بخلافه.
(Al-Muhit al-Burhani, 8/134, Idaratul Quran)
(Fatawa Rahimiyyah, 10/178, Darul Isha’at)
[3]
فَيَجُوزُ الِاسْتِمْتَاعُ بِالسُّرَّةِ وَمَا فَوْقَهَا وَالرُّكْبَةِ وَمَا تَحْتَهَا وَلَوْ بِلَا حَائِلٍ ، وَكَذَا بِمَا بَيْنَهُمَا بِحَائِلٍ بِغَيْرِ الْوَطْءِ وَلَوْ تَلَطَّخَ دَمًا. ردالمختار، باب الحيض