Fatwa ID: 04084
Answered by: Mufti Eunus Ali
I have a dilemma about marriage please and I was hoping for some advice and help. My parents have told me about 2 proposals and I am not sure what to do.
One is from the UK but he is a different caste and the other is the same caste but from Pakistan. My parents have said they prefer the Pakistan boy but the decision is mine
Please help and advice
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Your question will be answered in 2 parts:
- Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon Him) said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)." (Tirmidhi:1084)
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon Him) A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust. (Saheeh Muslim: 3457)
The scholars have mentioned that there a number of aspects that should be taken into consideration for compatibility when selecting a spouse. This includes:
- Nasab (family lineage)
- Religion and righteousness (being the most important as highlighted in the 2 Hadith mentioned above).
(Mirqaatul Mafaatih, Page 246, Volume 6, Maktabah Rashidiyyah and Marriage- A complete Solution by Mufti Saiful Islam, Page 28, JKN Publications)
- Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) has narrated the Prophet (ﷺ) used to teach us the Istikhara for each and every matter as he used to teach us the Surahs from the Holy Qur'an. (He used to say), "If anyone of you intends to do something, he should offer a two-rak`ats prayer, other than the obligatory prayer, and then say:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ، وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ، وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ، ثُمَّ رَضِّنِي بِهِ
(Saheeh Bukhari: 6382)
Islam teaches us that after consulting with reliable people, one should also seek assistance from Allah for goodness in that affair, as taught by the Prophet (peace be upon Him). This is known as Isthikharah.
The method of the Salah of Istikharah is to perform 2 rak’ah of Nafl Salah with the intention of Istikhara, thereafter to recite the Dua mentioned in the Hadith above. There is no specified time for the Salah of Istikharah.
(Marriage- A complete Solution by Mufti Saiful Islam, Page 23, JKN Publications)
In conclusion, the mentioned above points in regards to compatibility should be used as a guide when selecting a spouse, whilst at the same time asking Allah to guide you towards a suitable partner.
Only Allah Knows Best
Written by Maulana Eunus Ali
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham