Fatwa ID: 07023
Answered by: Alimah Jannatun Nessa
Question:
My husband who lives in Germany abused me and immediately divorced me over the phone because I refused to live with his father who lives all alone at his ancestral house in India . Also he had lied to me that he had completed his phd in Germany but to my surprise when i visited Germany he had not even completed his masters there . The time he uttered divorce I told him I was having my cycles ( menses) but in reply he said I don’t care as he does not follow islam . Even before my visit to Germany he promised me that he will pray namaz once i will join him . But when I joined him he didn’t listen to me, rather he started arguments over issues of islam . Like how do you know the Quran is the book of Allah , how do you know eating pig is haram? This all has been told by Arabs to we people and how do you know that Sahih Bukhari is authentic etc . There are many more questions which he raised about islam and he does not follow Islam.
He didn’t provide me any maintenance not even during idah period . Also he is refusing to give me the legal divorce papers . And has married another women there in Germany . I am eagerly waiting for your reply . What should a women do if this type of betrayal she faces?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
We pray that Allah grants you strength and guidance during this difficult time.
Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has said in the Quran,
“Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially.” (Surah Nisa, verse 34)
In this verse, Allah clearly defines the role of a man as being the provider and protector of women. This includes providing for her basic needs, such as food, clothing, and shelter, as well as any additional expenses she may have. It is a duty bestowed upon men by Allah, and by not fulfilling this responsibility, a man is not only neglecting his duty towards his wife but also going against the teachings of Islam.
In the verse following, Allah says,
“And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever knowing and acquainted [with all things].” (Quran 4:35)
There are two things to learn in relation to this ayah:
First, it is mentioned that when there is a rift between spouses, the imam or hakim should appoint a mediator from both the husband’s and wife’s sides who will ultimately decide whether the couple should reconcile or separate.
The Holy Quran makes no mention of a specific method to do this. The ayat does, however, mention that if the mediators have the correct intention and genuinely want to bring about peace between the couple, then regardless of the method, Allah will provide his unseen assistance and guide the two towards success in settling the issue. This means that if the issue is not resolved and the couple is still at odds, one or both of the mediators may not have had complete sincerity.
Second, the only goal of the intervention of the mediators is to restore peace between the husband and wife. However, if the mediators are chosen with the consent of both the husband and the wife, it means that they are in agreement with any choice they make regarding the marriage. The mediators are then given complete authority over the decision. Thus, if the mediators mutually decide that divorce is the only solution, divorce will be legally binding on the couple, and if khula is the only option, khula will be legally binding on the couple.
Last but not least, it is sinful and haram for your husband man to divorce you during your menses, but if he does so, it will be valid, and it will be necessary for him to take you back during your iddah, after which he may you divorce again while you are in a state of purity if he wishes to do so.
Allah favours married couples remaining together, which is why he encourages reconciliation and the use of mediation.But if all efforts at reconciliation fail and the mediators decide that separation is the best course of action, then divorce or khula will be legally enforced.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Jannatun Nessa
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[Ma’ariful Quran, Surah Nisa, Verse 34]
اَلرِّجَالُ قَوّٰمُوْنَ عَلَی النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّٰهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلٰی بَعْضٍ وَّبِمَاۤ اَنْفَقُوْا مِنْ اَمْوَالِهِمْ ؕ فَالصّٰلِحٰتُ قٰنِتٰتٌ حٰفِظٰتٌ لِّلْغَیْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّٰهُ ؕ وَالّٰتِیْ تَخَافُوْنَ نُشُوْزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوْهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوْهُنَّ فِی الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوْهُنَّ ۚ فَاِنْ اَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوْا عَلَیْهِنَّ سَبِیْلًا ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِیًّا كَبِیْرًا ۟
Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with. And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺. But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.
[Ma’ariful Quran, Surah Nisa, verse 35]
وَاِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَیْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوْا حَكَمًا مِّنْ اَهْلِهٖ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ اَهْلِهَا ۚ اِنْ یُّرِیْدَاۤ اِصْلَاحًا یُّوَفِّقِ اللّٰهُ بَیْنَهُمَا ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِیْمًا خَبِیْرًا ۟
If you anticipate a split between them, appoint a mediator from his family and another from hers. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.
[Radd ul muhtar, volume 4, page 433-435, Daar al kutub al ilmiyyah]
ولموطوءة تفريق الثلاث في ثلاث اطهار لا وطء فيها ولا في حيض قبلها ولا طلاق فيه فيمن تحيض
والبدعي ثلاث متفرقة أو ثنتان بمرة أو مرتين طهر واحد لا رجعة فيه او واحدة في طهر وطئت فيه أو واحدة في حيض موطوءة لو قال والبدعي ما خالفهما لكان أوجز وافود وتجب رجعتها على الأصح فيه أي في الحيض رفعا للمعصية فإذا طهرت طلقها إن شاء أو أمسكها
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Nisa, verse 35]
