Fatwa ID: 07020
Answered by: Maulana Ubaidur Rahman
Question:
If a couple are struggling to conceive their first child, and the husband wants to consider going down the IVF route can the wife refuse? Is she sinful if she didn’t want to do IVF
Part of the reason she is refusing is because she doesn’t trust the fertilisation happening outside the womb and b) doesn’t want to take medications that affect her hormones.
The husband sees it as a lack of courage from the wife and believes theres nothing wrong with taking medicines/ treatment that can assist a successful conception/ pregnancy
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
If IVF is to be performed by a couple husband and wife, then it will only be permissible during times of utmost need when they have exhausted every other avenue in trying to conceive a child. It will only be allowed when the husband and wife directly take a sperm and egg from each other and only each other. If it is done in any other way then this would be improper and polluting their family lineage. Maintaining direct contact between both husband and wife without the interference of another also protects family lineage and the relations will remain intact.
The Prophet (SAW) has said,
عَنْ شُتَيْرِ بْنِ شَكَلِ بْنِ حُمَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ عَلِّمْنِي دُعَاءً أَنْتَفِعُ بِهِ . قَالَ “ قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي مِنْ شَرِّ سَمْعِي وَبَصَرِي وَلِسَانِي وَقَلْبِي وَشَرِّ مَنِيِّي ” . يَعْنِي ذَكَرَهُ[1]
Transalation: It was narrated from Shutair bin Shakal bin Humaid, that his father said:
“I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, teach me a supplication from which I may benefit.’ He said: ‘Say: Allahumma ‘afini min sharri sam’i, wa basari, wa lisani, wa qalbi, wa sharri mani (O Allah, protect me from the evil of my hearing, my seeing, my tongue and my heart, and the evil of my sperm.)” – Meaning his sexual organ.
فَإِنَّهَا بَعْدَ صِحَّةِ نِسْبَتِهَا إلَى مَالِكٍ يُحْتَمَلُ خَطَؤُهَا،[2]
The link of family lineage should be attributed to the owner of the sperm and establish relations and parenthood over it.
The wife not wanting to take medication which will affect her hormones is to protect and safeguard her health and that is paramount and of optimum importance; to safeguard each others lives and the lives of humanity – to not put anyone in danger. If she feels like this is dangerous for her health and based on her own circumstances, then she has priority. If she also doesn’t trust the fertilisation process, then this is a part of her and from her, and she has an equal voice in this scenario. I pray that you are both able to help and console each other during this period and you both reach the results of which you are working towards.
The wife, as the bearer of the child and being entrusted with all the maternal responsibilities of a mother, she has preference and more of a say in relation to the child which is to be bore by the both of them. Her wanting to go down a more natural procedure is understandable, and an agreement needs to be reached by both husband and wife, peacefully and with through consent and without exerting any pressure on each other in order for the conception of the child to go smoothly and successfully.
It is important to be patient with each other and to reach a mutual agreement together regarding the procedure of giving birth. This is a very monumental and important stage in both of your lives, and the potential life you are about to conceive, if you chose the best method for conception of a child. It is all in Almighty Allah’s hands and he alone has the power to bring what he wills when he wills through whichever means and procedure.
May Allah assist you in every avenue.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Ubaidur Rahman
Checked and approved Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] Sunan an-Nasaai, 5484.
[2] Raddul Muhtar, 540:3, Chapter of establishing lineage, Maktabatus Shamila.
