Fatwa ID: 06963
Answered by: Alimah Jannatun Nessa
Question:
My husband hasn’t spoken to me for over two three months. I wash his clothes and make his food he eats my cooking. He hasn’t spoken to our children either. He stopped talking over such a small misunderstanding in Urdu grammar and he got so angry at me and shouted. I didn’t mean it disrespectfully but he accused me of being disrespectful. Please tell me is the nikkah still valid? I have lost my appetite and stopped eating don’t feel like eating and everyday I wake up feeling guilty and awful because he is not speaking to me. He is older than me by few years but is not sensible. I said a person should not be angry for more than 3 days and he doesn’t care. Will Allah punish him for his behaviour? I am losing hope
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
A valid marriage (one that was performed in the presence of two male/one male and two female witnesses with an offer and acceptance) does not end unless a divorce occurs.
When spouses have an argument, it is often best to try to resolve the conflict right away by having an open and honest conversation. However, sometimes it may be better to take a step back and give each other some space to calm down and reflect on the situation. At last if even this does not work then you could consider allowing a trustworthy person to mediate between the two of you. Allowing mediators to reconcile spouses is the method that has been mentioned in Surah Nisa, verse 35;
“And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever knowing and acquainted [with all things].”
Stress and tension from arguments can take a toll on your physical and mental health. However, it is important that you do not neglect your health and well-being during this time and pray to Allah that he guides you in resolving the conflict.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Jannatun Nessa
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[Radd ul Muhtar, volume 4, page 69, Daar al kutub al ilmiyyah]
وينعقد ملتبسا بإيجاب من أحدهما وقبول من الآخر وضعا للمضي لأن الماضي أدل على التحقيق
[Radd ul Muhtar, volume 4, page 69, Daar al kutub al ilmiyyah]
وشرط حضور شاهدين حرين أو حر وحرتين مكلفين سامعين قولهما معا
[Surah Nisa, verse 35]
وَاِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَیْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوْا حَكَمًا مِّنْ اَهْلِهٖ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ اَهْلِهَا ۚ اِنْ یُّرِیْدَاۤ اِصْلَاحًا یُّوَفِّقِ اللّٰهُ بَیْنَهُمَا ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلِیْمًا خَبِیْرًا ۟
If you anticipate a split between them, appoint a mediator from his family and another from hers. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.
