Fatwa ID: 07373
Answered by: Mufti Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Question:
Five months ago, one day i heard a message from a mufti that is – if one say to his wife you may leave, i leaving you [that Bengali language is – toke sere dilam.] Then his wife talaq. Dear i am not good at English language please try and understand my question kindly.
After one day, when i go to toilet then i remember this sentence and think and ask this question to my mind – in past time when i quarrel with my wife then i use this sentence ? It is my question to my mind and answer is no. i do not said this sentence in past time.
When i think this then i utter this sentence TOKE SERE DILAM. in this time i remember my wife and quarrel. But i have no intention for talak. only remember and recapture past. after this – suddenly i think why i utter this sentence TOKE SERE DILAM. in my mouth. i am afraid and think what was the condition of the sound of this sentence – TOKE SERE DILAM.
AFTER few months i am upset and tension and sometimes i am trying to know what was the condition of the sound of this sentence – Toke sere dilam and unfortunately i am utter this sentence again and again.
I am afraid and afraid. I do not understand what can i do. I am trying dua, and recite sura and more but all is failure.
One day in a occasion, i think my local man who is 3 talaq to his wife that is i see. i think he said 3 or 100 talaq. etc. suddenly i utter talaq in my mouth. i am not sure when i said talaq then remember my wife. i am not remember this situation fully but only i have remember that the word talaq.
I am now completely upset. i have no intention talaq but i have no control my mind and mouth. day by day i am weeks.
My question is –
- When i remember my past with my wife and quarrel then utter this sentence TOKE SERE DILAM [it was my question to my mind] any talaq occur?
2. Some times unfortunately i utter this sentence again and again but i have no intention and no control, any talaq occur?
3. Unfortunetly, i utter talaq word [ i have no remember that i think my wife or no] any talaq occur?
Please help me and say what can i do?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Uttering the words of Talaq (divorce) fall under two categories; Sareeh (clear wording) and Kinaya (vague wording).
If clear wording is used, such as “I divorce you” or “you are divorced” or “I give you Talaq” whether they be said in person or not, via message, with witnesses present or not, etc. then this will cause talaq (divorce) to occur immediately. The wife will then need to enter into iddah. The inference of such wording would mean Talaq Raj’i will occur which would subsequently allow for reconciliation to take place within the iddah period without the need of renewing the nikah. Verbally uttering words or gesturing to her to return would be sufficient for the marriage to renew. Even looking at her with desire and lust would also have the same effect. [Al Hidayah; volume 2, page 380] [1]
However, the use of vague wording where ambiguity remains (i.e., using such wording which would not normally infer to divorce) will require an intention of divorce to be present at the time of using such wordings. If an intention of divorce is not made at the time of using such wordings, then talaq will not take place. Examples of such wordings would be, as you have said “I free you,” “I release you,” “get out of here,” “I don’t want to see you again” and etc. [Al Hidayah; volume 2, page 391-392] [2]
Simply uttering the words of Talaq alone are not sufficient for Talaq to take place. They need to be directed towards somebody, either by saying it directly to them or by mentioning the wife’s name. It should also be known, that verbally uttering Talaq, whether done so due to duress or not, Talaq will occur. Being under duress does not nullify a verbal Talaq.
If the Talaq which you said was not directed at anyone, then the Talaq will not occur. If it was directed at her, then it would occur. The times when you said “toke sere dilam”, if you intended Talaq then Talaq will occur, otherwise it will not.
A word of advice, one generally only orates things which have been on one’s mind. From what you have said, it appears that you have been pondering over this for some time now whether consciously or unconsciously. It may be prudent to delve into the issue in hand to uncover why it is that you have been leaning towards Talaq and attempt to rectify the issue, perhaps by discussing it with your wife or by seeking counselling.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Mufti Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1]الطلاق على ضربين: صريح وكناية. فالصريح: قوله أنت طالق، ومطلقة، وطلقتك، فهذا يقع به الطلاق الرجعي لان هذا الألفاظ تستعمل في الطلاق، ولا تستعمل في غيره، فكان صريح
[2]وبقية الكنايات، وهذا مثل قوله: أنت بائن، وبتة، وبتلة… لأنه تحتمل الطلاق وغيره، فلا بد من النية
