Does Arguing With Parents Have An Effect On One’s Deeds

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Fatwa ID: 07544

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Nuski Cassim

 

 

Question:

 

As Salam ‘alaikum!

If some Muslim had a quarrel with their father or mother, would it have an influence on the acceptance of good deeds such as their Salah, Dhikr or supplication to Allah?

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

 

Answer:

 

Wa ‘alaykum al-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

 

Islam has underscored both the importance of obedience as well as kind treatment towards one’s parent(s).

 

The Qur’an mentions the following:

 

۞وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنًاۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفّٖ وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلٗا كَرِيمٗا

 

“And your Lord has decreed that you do not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both [of them] reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” – Surah Al-Isra, Ayah 23.

 

The Prophet (saw) has also greatly emphasized obedience and kind treatment towards them. 

 

أحبُّ الأعمال إلى الله الصلاة لوقته، ثمَّ بِرُّ الوالدين، ثمَّ الجهاد في سبيل الله.”

 

“The most believed of actions to Allah is [the offering of] the prayer at its appointed time, thereafter goodness and dutifulness to [one’s] parents, [and] thereafter striving in the cause of Allah.” – [أخرجه الطبراني]

 

With that said, it is worth noting that children quarreling with their parents and getting into disputes with them is something which is common. And these differences, and not seeing eye to eye with them, is something which Islam tolerates. 

 

Nonetheless, the method through which differences etc. are expressed must be one whereby their honour is not compromised, nor are their feelings trampled upon.

 

The acceptance of good deeds and their rewards are intrinsically separate from that of one`s wrongdoings and sins.

 

Allah (SWT) made it such that, through His mercy, good deeds cancel and erase one`s bad deeds and not vice versa.[1][2]

 

 “إِنَّ الْحَسَنَاتِ يُذْهِبْنَ السَّيِّئَاتِ

 

“Surely, good deeds do away [with] the evil deeds.” – Surah Hud, Ayah 114.

 

إِلَّا مَن تَابَ وَءَامَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًۭا صَـٰلِحًۭا فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ ٱللَّهُ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ حَسَنَـٰتٍۢ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

 

“Except he who repents, believes, and does good deeds, then they are the ones whose evil deeds Allah will change into good deeds. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” – Surah Al-Furqan, Ayah 70.

 

Abu Dharr (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said:

 

اتَّقِ اللَّهِ حَيْثُمَا كُنْتَ وَأَتْبِعْ السَّيِّئَةَ الْحَسَنَةَ تَمْحُهَا وَخَالِقِ النَّاسَ بِخُلُقٍ حَسَنٍ

 

“Fear Allah wherever you may be and follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it. And behave towards people with good character.” – [سنن الترمذي، رقم الحديث ١٩٨٧]

 

In summary, we can see from the abovementioned texts that when a Believer repents to Allah (SWT) concerning the wrongs committed and follows up those vices with good works, then Allah (SWT) forgives their wrongdoings and He turns those misdeeds into good deeds. 

 

As such, a quarrel between child and parent(s) will not affect the acceptance of good deeds done for the sake of Allah (SWT) such as prayer, dhikr, du’a and the like.

 

 

Only Allah knows best.

Written by Maulana Nuski Cassim

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham 

 

 

1.

قال ابن تيمية رحمه الله: ولا يحبط الأعمال غير الكرف 

 

الصارم المسلول

 

 

 

2.

قال القرطبي رحمه الله: والعقيدة أن السيئات لا تبطل الحسنات ولا تحبطها 

 

الجامع لاحكام القرآن

 

 

 

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