Fatwa ID: 07894
Answered by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Question:
I have a question about adoption,
I am a woman who has gone through the age of puberty, so praying, fasting, and modesty is fardh for me.
I’m gonna get insha’Allah adopted, because of toxic household reasons, and I am thinking about If I get adopted to a family where there is a man, who is not my biological father, but he plays the father role, so is it halal for me to not wear hijab in front of him? and can I for example, hug him in respectful manner etc ?
Or should I cover my whole body expect hair?
And can I go out with him?
And there is for example, the grandfather, the uncles etc, are they considered mahram for me?
And what kind of behaviour I should have with them?
And what If he does not live near us, can I still contact him?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
The father and other male members of your adopted family would all be non-mahrams for you. Therefore, it would be required for you to cover your hair and body in front of your adopted father, including your arms and legs. Keep in mind that this does not mean you must wear an abaya or likewise: any casual modest clothing which covers you and is not figure-hugging or sheer would fit the requirements. Skin-to-skin contact should be avoided, and you should also avoid being alone with him in private where other people would or could not enter, like being home alone with him. On the other hand, public outings with him would be okay. It would also be alright to contact him, talk to him, treat him with respect and show kindness to him. As with any non-mahram the key thing to avoid is immodest behaviour, so treating him like a respected elder, mentor, teacher or father-figure would be completely fine.1
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Wondrous is the affair of a believer, as there is good for him in every matter; this is not the case for anyone but a believer. If he experiences pleasure, he thanks Allah and it is good for him. If he experiences harm, he shows patience and it is good for him.”2
Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri (ra) said: “I entered upon the Prophet (ﷺ) when he was suffering from a fever, I placed my hand on him and felt heat with my hand from above the blanket. I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, how hard it is for you!’ He said: ‘We (Prophets) are like that. The trial is multiplied for us and so is the reward.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, then who?’ He said: ‘Then the righteous, some of whom were tested with poverty until they could not find anything except a cloak to put around themselves. One of them will rejoice at calamity as one of you would rejoice at ease.’”3
From these ahadith, we see that some of Allah (عز و جل)’s pious servants are tested more than others in certain matters. Modesty is a great and praiseworthy trait, so striving hard in achieving it will result in great mercy and rewards from Allah (عز و جل), inshaAllah. We ask Allah (عز و جل) for patience in life’s trials and a peaceful abode in the hereafter.4
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
(1)
أَسْبَابُ التَّحْرِيمِ أَنْوَاعٌ: قَرَابَةٌ، مُصَاهَرَةٌ، رَضَاعٌ، جَمْعٌ، مِلْكٌ، شِرْكٌ، إدْخَالُ أَمَةٍ عَلَى حُرَّةٍ، فَهِيَ سَبْعَةٌ: ذَكَرَهَا الْمُصَنِّفُ بِهَذَا التَّرْتِيبِ وَبَقِيَ التَّطْلِيقُ ثَلَاثًا، وَتَعَلُّقُ حَقِّ الْغَيْرِ بِنِكَاحٍ أَوْ عِدَّةٍ ذَكَرَهُمَا فِي الرَّجْعَةِ.
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.28
(وَلِلْحُرَّةِ) وَلَوْ خُنْثَى (جَمِيعُ بَدَنِهَا) حَتَّى شَعْرُهَا النَّازِلُ فِي الْأَصَحِّ (خَلَا الْوَجْهِ وَالْكَفَّيْنِ) فَظَهْرُ الْكَفِّ عَوْرَةٌ عَلَى الْمَذْهَبِ (وَالْقَدَمَيْنِ)
…
(قَوْلُهُ فَظَهْرُ الْكَفِّ عَوْرَةٌ) قَالَ فِي مِعْرَاجِ الدِّرَايَةِ مَا نَصُّهُ: اُعْتُرِضَ بِأَنَّ اسْتِثْنَاءَ الْكَفِّ لَا يَدُلُّ عَلَى أَنَّ ظَهْرَ الْكَفِّ عَوْرَةٌ لِأَنَّ الْكَفَّ لُغَةً يَتَنَاوَلُ الظَّاهِرَ وَالْبَاطِنَ، وَلِهَذَا يُقَالُ ظَهَرَ الْكَفُّ وَأُجِيبُ بِأَنَّ الْكَفَّ عُرْفًا وَاسْتِعْمَالًا لَا يَتَنَاوَلُ ظَهْرَهُ اهـ فَظَهَرَ أَنَّ التَّفْرِيعَ مَبْنِيٌّ عَلَى الِاسْتِعْمَالِ الْعُرْفِيِّ لَا اللُّغَوِيِّ فَافْهَمْ (قَوْلُهُ عَلَى الْمَذْهَبِ) أَيْ ظَاهِرِ الرِّوَايَةِ. وَفِي مُخْتَلِفَاتِ قَاضِي خَانْ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.405
(قَوْلُهُ كَمَسِّهِ) أَيْ كَمَا يُمْنَعُ الرَّجُلُ مِنْ مَسِّ وَجْهِهَا وَكَفِّهَا وَإِنْ أَمِنَ الشَّهْوَةَ إلَخْ. قَالَ الشَّارِحُ فِي الْحَظْرِ وَالْإِبَاحَةِ: وَهَذَا فِي الشَّابَّةِ، أَمَّا الْعَجُوزُ الَّتِي لَا تُشْتَهَى فَلَا بَأْسَ بِمُصَافَحَتِهَا وَمَسِّ يَدِهَا إنْ أَمِنَ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.406
(2)
حَدَّثَنَا هَدَّابُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ الأَزْدِيُّ، وَشَيْبَانُ بْنُ فَرُّوخَ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ، – وَاللَّفْظُ لِشَيْبَانَ – حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا ثَابِتٌ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، عَنْ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” عَجَبًا لأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لأَحَدٍ إِلاَّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ ” .
Sahih Muslim (https://sunnah.com) b.55, ch.13, no.823 (2999)
(3)
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي فُدَيْكٍ، حَدَّثَنِي هِشَامُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ أَسْلَمَ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، قَالَ دَخَلْتُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ وَهُوَ يُوعَكُ فَوَضَعْتُ يَدِي عَلَيْهِ فَوَجَدْتُ حَرَّهُ بَيْنَ يَدَىَّ فَوْقَ اللِّحَافِ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا أَشَدَّهَا عَلَيْكَ قَالَ ” إِنَّا كَذَلِكَ يُضَعَّفُ لَنَا الْبَلاَءُ وَيُضَعَّفُ لَنَا الأَجْرُ ” . قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَىُّ النَّاسِ أَشَدُّ بَلاَءً قَالَ ” الأَنْبِيَاءُ ” . قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ” ثُمَّ الصَّالِحُونَ إِنْ كَانَ أَحَدُهُمْ لَيُبْتَلَى بِالْفَقْرِ حَتَّى مَا يَجِدُ أَحَدُهُمْ إِلاَّ الْعَبَاءَةَ يُحَوِّيهَا وَإِنْ كَانَ أَحَدُهُمْ لَيَفْرَحُ بِالْبَلاَءِ كَمَا يَفْرَحُ أَحَدُكُمْ بِالرَّخَاءِ ” .
Sunan Ibn Majah (https://sunnah.com) b.36, ch.23, no.99 (4024)
(4)
حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ قَتَادَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي السَّوَّارِ الْعَدَوِيِّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عِمْرَانَ بْنَ حُصَيْنٍ، قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ الْحَيَاءُ لاَ يَأْتِي إِلاَّ بِخَيْرٍ ”. فَقَالَ بُشَيْرُ بْنُ كَعْبٍ مَكْتُوبٌ فِي الْحِكْمَةِ إِنَّ مِنَ الْحَيَاءِ وَقَارًا، وَإِنَّ مِنَ الْحَيَاءِ سَكِينَةً. فَقَالَ لَهُ عِمْرَانُ أُحَدِّثُكَ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَتُحَدِّثُنِي عَنْ صَحِيفَتِكَ.
Sahih al-Bukhari (https://sunnah.com) b.78, ch.77, no.144 (6117)
