Fatwa ID: 08332
Answered by: Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad
Question:
I am currently a divorcee, it was a process that was instigated by a lot of emotion and 10 days in after talaq was given. My ex spouse and I had gotten back into contact and realised there was regret in this decision and we truly wanted to remain married. We still loved, trusted and respected one another. My wali did not approve and I was being told by everyone I would be destroying my parents, I wouldn’t be forgiven by Allah, my marriage would have no barakah, my children will affected by my family’s anger and pain. I was and still so vulnerable, I was put in the middle and I was told constantly I’d be disowned.
So many things occurred, they did not want me to reconcile even though my husband and I had said we take each other back. So many things occurred Subhan’Allah. I wanted to leave and I wasn’t allowed. But Alhamdulilah I still have hope in Allah, He will give me what I want and better. My Iddah has finished and things were left between my ex spouse and I on the basis to just keep making Dua as impossible it might seem. Allahu Alim.
Can a couple remarry again after 1 talaq? What is said in the Quran about marrying after talaq, how can a wali be convinced? How can we as daughters soften our Wali’s hearts towards this decision, it has been like this for almost 5-6 months, nothing has changed for me, I believe people can change for Allah and this indeed happened with my spouse. What can I do islamically? Alhumdulilah my faith has strengthened I’ve been told it could just be emotions but it is not, I have lived 5 months away from seeing my spouse and have gone back to work and trying to live a normal life. I still very much want to my spouse back. What can I do to convince my wali?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
It is permissible for a couple to get back together after one divorce. If it was a revocable divorce (Raj’ī Talāq), the husband can take back his wife before the completion of her ‘Iddat. If it was a separable divorce (Talāq Bāin) or the ‘Iddat has passed, a Tajdīd Al-Nikāh must be performed to renew the marriage. If the divorce was Mughallazah, like in the case where three divorces are given, a woman cannot get back with her ex-husband until she marries and consummates with a new husband.
In the Hanafi Madhab, the Wali’s permission is not a condition for the validity of the marriage but may deprive the marriage of blessings. Especially when it comes to divorcees, the Prophet SWS said:
A previously married woman has more right to decide about herself (with regard to marriage) than her guardian
Gaining the Wali’s support will help prevent many familial issues and challenges in the future, and will offer you both stability, security, and a strong foundation. While getting the Wali’s support for marriage is important, it is even more important to maintain chastity and raise children in an environment that best protects their Deen.
“A widow has more right over herself than her guardian.” Narrated by Muslim, Abu Dawud, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasa’i, and Malik in al-Muwatta’, without the consent of a guardian. The basic principle is that anyone who disposes of [performs transactions on] his own wealth disposes of [can perform transactions on] themselves, and what they cannot [dispose of / transact on], they cannot [dispose of / transact on].
The situation you are going through also occurred during the time of the Prophet SWS and a verse fo the Quran was revealed in this regard:
When you divorce women and they have reached the end of their waiting period, do not ˹let the guardians˺ prevent them from re-marrying their ex-husbands if they come to an honourable agreement. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day. This is purer and more dignifying for you. Allah knows and you do not know.
Kindly talk to your Wali and try to convince him and make him understand your situation. Pray Salāt Al-Istikhārah and make abundant Dua to Allah SWT for guidance and to make this process easy. Ask friends and family to talk on your behalf and to soften his heart. Consult with local scholars on what to do and get their advice. Certain matters take time and require patience. In the end, do what is best for your Deen and Ākhirah.
References:
[1] لْأَيِّمُ أَحَقُّ بِنَفْسِهَا مِنْ وَلِيِّهَا
(Sunan an-Nasa’i 3260, Book 26, Hadith 65)
(Sunan Abi Dawud 2098, Book 12, Hadith 53)
(Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1108, Book 11, Hadith 29)
[2] وَأَمَّا حَدِيثُ «أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ نَكَحَتْ نَفْسَهَا بِغَيْرِ إذْنِ وَلِيِّهَا فَنِكَاحُهَا بَاطِلٌ فَنِكَاحُهَا بَاطِلٌ فَنِكَاحُهَا بَاطِلٌ» وَحَسَّنَهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ وَحَدِيثُ «لَا نِكَاحَ إلَّا بِوَلِيٍّ» رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُد وَغَيْرُهُ، فَمُعَارَضٌ بِقَوْلِهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – «الْأَيِّمُ أَحَقُّ بِنَفْسِهَا مِنْ وَلِيِّهَا» رَوَاهُ مُسْلِمٌ وَأَبُو دَاوُد وَالتِّرْمِذِيُّ وَالنَّسَائِيُّ وَمَالِكٌ فِي الْمُوَطَّأِ، بِلَا) رِضَا (وَلِيٍّ) وَالْأَصْلُ أَنَّ كُلَّ مَنْ تَصَرَّفَ فِي مَالِهِ تَصَرَّفَ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَمَا لَا فَلَا
(Radd Al-Muhtār, vol. 3, pg. 55-56, Darul Fikr Beirut)
Only Allah (عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ) knows best.
Written by Maulana Abdurrahman Mohammad
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
