Fatwa ID: 08874
Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Question:
A person has married about year and half ago since then he is constantly facing the problem of ocd and extreme waswas. Whenever his wife says anything to him, the person’s mind automatically go into overdrive and start thinking that this word or this sentence can also be a kinayah for divorce and he try his best to answer in a way to repel the waswasa. It happens even with general terms that his wife use in conversation. The reason I am sharing the background is for you to understand the extent of waswasas this person is going through.
During general conversation with his wife the waswasas hit him and his mind starts thinking that these words from his wife can also be used as kinayah and he then starts thinking about the words and stops in-between talking to his wife to repel the waswasa and it causes headache and anxiety and panic. Few weeks ago he called his wife who was at her parents house at that time and the wife said something like ” you have forgotten you wife ” or something like ” you don’t realise that you also have a wife you have forgotten me ” the person mind automatically goes into panic state with this statement from the wife as his mind started thinking that these words are a form of kinnayah and he started repelling the waswasa by answering like no you are my beautiful wife I was just busy.
However the wife kept insisting that no you don’t care and you have forgotten about her. His mind was busy thinking that if he accepts this by saying yes or approving these then it may constitute a divorce. So he was trying his best to answer in a way that the waswasa should go away and his wife stops saying these words. However he became so angry at all this and in his head he repeated the words ” yes I have forgotten about you” or maybe “yes I have forgotten about you but you still are my wife”. He repeated this only in his mind and didn’t answer as such with his words. Once he said these words in response to his wife words in his mind his anxiety went away and anger went away. Meanwhile both husband and wife started talking about some other topic as usual.
So the question becomes if the wife said to husband that you have forgotten me and the husband is surrounded by waswas and answer in his head as ” yes I have forgotten you” or “yes I have but you still are my wife and will be as such forever” because of persistence of wife with this statement will the divorce happen if he did the niyyah and said such only in his head? And not with his words by tongue? And when the wide changed the topic he again started speaking normally wife tongue to her?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Talaq (divorce) does not occur in this case. The mere intention of divorce, or repeating words in one’s mind, does not constitute a valid divorce in the Shariah. The Quranic and Sunnah basis requires clear action or speech:
“O Prophet! ˹Instruct the believers: When you ˹intend to˺ divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period,1 and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord.” [Surah al-Ṭalaq (65:1)] [1]
This implies a deliberate, outward act and not a hidden action or intention.
Furthermore, Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, ﷺ, said:
“Verily, Allah has pardoned my nation for the stray thoughts occurring within themselves, as long as they do not speak of them or act upon them.”
[Sahih Al-Bukhari 6664, Sahih Muslim 127] [2]
Jurists affirm that talaq does not occur with mere intention but requires affirmation by action or speech. There is no divorce except through expression, writing, or an understood gesture in the case of inability. [3]
Marriage in Islam is sacred and certain whilst divorce is not. Therefore, the marriage remains valid since according to the Islamic legal maxim “Certainty is not removed by doubt.”[4]
In cases like OCD, where intrusive thoughts and anxiety lead a person to internally obsess over divorce-related phrases, classical and contemporary scholars advise that these thoughts should be completely ignored. No legal or spiritual consequences apply to what is imagined or whispered in the mind, especially under duress.
The husband did not verbally pronounce divorce or otherwise indicate it by action. Repeating phrases internally, even with intention, has no legal effect in Islam. Thus, the marriage remains intact, and the husband is advised to seek both spiritual reassurance and professional psychological support for ongoing Waswasa (whispers from the shaytan).
References:
[1] يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا۟ ٱلْعِدَّةَ ۖ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ ۖ
[2] عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ لِأُمَّتِي مَا حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا مَا لَمْ يَتَكَلَّمُوا أَوْ يَعْمَلُوا بِهِ
6664 صحيح البخاري كتاب الأيمان والنذور باب إذا حنث ناسيا في الأيمان
127 صحيح مسلم كتاب الإيمان باب تجاوز الله عن حديث النفس والخواطر بالقلب إذا لم تستقر
[3] بِالْأَخِيرَيْنِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَنْوِ لِأَنَّ مَعَ الدَّلَالَةِ لَا يُصَدَّقُ قَضَاءً فِي نَفْيِ النِّيَّةِ لِأَنَّهَا أَقْوَى لِكَوْنِهَا ظَاهِرَةً، وَالنِّيَّةُ بَاطِنَةٌ وَلِذَا تُقْبَلُ بَيِّنَتُهَا عَلَى الدَّلَالَةِ لَا عَلَى النِّيَّةِ إلَّا أَنْ تُقَامَ عَلَى إقْرَارِهِ بِهَا عِمَادِيَّةٌ، ثُمَّ فِي كُلِّ مَوْضِعٍ تُشْتَرَطُ النِّيَّةُ فَلَوْ السُّؤَالُ بِهَلْ يَقَعُ بِقَوْلِ نَعَمْ إنْ نَوَيْت، وَلَوْ بِكَمْ يَقَعُ بِقَوْلِ وَاحِدَةٍ وَلَا يَتَعَرَّضُ لِاشْتِرَاطِ النِّيَّةِ بَزَّازِيَّةٌ فَلْيُحْفَظْ.
ص302 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – باب الكنايات – المكتبة الشاملة
[4] “اليقين لا يزول بالشك”
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
