Fatwa ID: 07762
Answered by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Question:
Assalamualaikum Sheikh, I hope you are well. Recently, when I started to learn about Islam, I came to know about the issue of Hurmat e musaharah. When I was a minor (na-baligh) my age was about 11 or 12 years old I touched my mother with lust during sleeping. At that time I didn’t know anything about the laws and rulings of Islam. When I touched her, as best as I can remember, lust was already there before touching (as it usually happens at night) without any specific reason. Then while sleeping I touched her but the touch was through a cloth. And as best as I can remember, The cloth was not too thin. I touched it in such a way that I don’t think I felt the body heat because the touch was not very strong or tight. I don’t know whether I got an erection or not. As best as I can remember my lust didn’t increase at the exact moment of touch and a constant feeling remained the same as before. But this is not certain and I am not sure as it happened many years ago. Since I was a minor I had no desire for intercourse and I didn’t want to move forward. But whatever happened, I have very little recollection and the details as it happened many years ago And I don’t remember anything exactly. I have read two fatwas before which I was satisfied of but because all things are uncertain, the Shaitan repeatedly gives me waswasa that the details provided by you if they are not there etc. When I remember the event, sometimes I think I had an erection, and sometimes I think I didn’t. Due to this, I am very worried and this thing is also affecting my Deen very much. I am not able to perform any namaz properly. Another incident happened when I was a minor But I don’t even remember one percent of that incident whether I touched it or not. I am in constant waswasa, please guide me. For some time I believe hurmat has not been established After a while, I think it may have been established. I have also the issue of overthinking.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Wa’alaykumussalaam,
First and foremost, it appears that you do not have a clear recollection of either event. In cases of uncertainty such as this, we ignore one’s waswasa and do not rule on doubt. Therefore, Hurmat-e-Musaharah is not established.1
If your concerns plague your mind to the extent that it is negatively affecting your salah, deen and daily life, it is imperative that you learn to overcome them and put them out of your mind. You should make du’a to Allah (عز و جل) to ease your burdens and cure you of this affliction. It would also be advisable for you to seek out a qualified Muslim counsellor, therapist or related mental health professional to help you in managing your worries.
As an additional note, to help you put this out of your mind, it does not seem like Hurmat-e-Musaharah would have occurred in your case regardless. A barrier of normal sleepwear would prevent Hurmat-e-Musaharah, as the touch needs to be without a barrier or through extremely thin cloth such as lace or very sheer materials which allow body heat to be felt through them.2 Also, if one already has an unrelated amount of lust and then happens to touch someone, if their erection does not increase then Hurmat-e-Musaharah does not occur.3
In general, Hurmat-e-Musaharah is a delicate and complex subject which requires a holistic understanding of the rulings involved. One should not try and apply it themselves or worry about it unduly. If a specific and serious incident occurs again, one should consult a qualified scholar for further advice. Outside of this, one should put such matters out of their mind.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
(1)
إِنَّ الشَّكَّ وَالِاحْتِمَالَ لَا يُوجِبُ الْحُكْمَ بِالنَّقْضِ، إذْ الْيَقِينُ لَا يَزُولُ بِالشَّكِّ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.148
وْ أَيْقَنَ بِالطَّهَارَةِ وَشَكَّ بِالْحَدَثِ أَوْ بِالْعَكْسِ أَخَذَ بِالْيَقِينِ، وَلَوْ تَيَقَّنَهُمَا وَشَكَّ فِي السَّابِقِ فَهُوَ مُتَطَهِّرٌ
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.150
لِأَنَّ قَطْعَ الْوَسْوَسَةِ وَاجِبٌ
Badaai’ Al-Sanaai’ (Daar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.21
وَالسَّبِيلُ فِي الْوَسْوَسَةِ قَطْعُهَا؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَوْ اشْتَغَلَ بِذَلِكَ لَأَدَّى إلَى أَنْ يَتَفَرَّعَ لِأَدَاءِ الصَّلَاةِ، وَهَذَا لَا يَجُوزُ
Badaai’ Al-Sanaai’ (Daar Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.33
(2)
ثُمَّ الْمَسُّ إنَّمَا يُوجِبُ حُرْمَةَ الْمُصَاهَرَةِ إذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ بَيْنَهُمَا ثَوْبٌ، أَمَّا إذَا كَانَ بَيْنَهُمَا ثَوْبٌ فَإِنْ كَانَ صَفِيقًا لَا يَجِدُ الْمَاسُّ حَرَارَةَ الْمَمْسُوسِ لَا تَثْبُتُ حُرْمَةُ الْمُصَاهَرَةِ وَإِنْ انْتَشَرَتْ آلَتُهُ بِذَلِكَ وَإِنْ كَانَ رَقِيقًا بِحَيْثُ تَصِلُ حَرَارَةُ الْمَمْسُوسِ إلَى يَدِهِ تَثْبُتُ
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.275
(قوله: بحائل لا يمنع الحرارة) أي ولو بحائل إلخ، فلو كان مانعا لا تثبت الحرمة، كذا في أكثر الكتب
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.32
(3)
وَالدَّوَامُ عَلَى الْمَسِّ لَيْسَ بِشَرْطٍ لِثُبُوتِ الْحُرْمَةِ حَتَّى قِيلَ إذَا مَدَّ يَدَهُ إلَى امْرَأَةٍ بِشَهْوَةٍ فَوَقَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْفِ ابْنَتِهَا فَازْدَادَتْ شَهْوَتُهُ حَرُمَتْ عَلَيْهِ امْرَأَتُهُ وَإِنْ نَزَعَ يَدَهُ مِنْ سَاعَتِهِ
…
فَمَنْ انْتَشَرَتْ آلَتُهُ فَطَلَبَ امْرَأَتَهُ وَأَوْلَجَهَا بَيْنَ فَخِذَيْ ابْنَتِهَا لَا تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ أُمُّهَا مَا لَمْ تَزْدَدْ انْتِشَارًا
Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.275
لو انتشر وطلب امرأة فأولج بين فخذي بنتها خطأ لا تحرم أمها ما لم يزدد الانتشار
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.33
