Fatwa ID: 06898
Answered by: Maulana Burhaan Rahman
Question:
Did Prophet (saw) has commended to have more children or it’s his wish only? I personally don’t like children much so I wanted to go for the option of using contraceptive methods. Tell me is this permissible or not in Islam? We know these days that most children don’t listen to their parents. What’s the point of having children? Why do I invest my energy time money emotions etc. in something that I might not enjoy later? I had come across very bad instances that made me think about not having children. There are good children also but the proportion of bad is very bigger than good. Please put some light on my thoughts
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
1) In Abu Dawud [Hadeeth no: 2050] it mentions:
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ إِنِّي أَصَبْتُ امْرَأَةً ذَاتَ حَسَبٍ وَجَمَالٍ وَإِنَّهَا لاَ تَلِدُ أَفَأَتَزَوَّجُهَا قَالَ ” لاَ ” . ثُمَّ أَتَاهُ الثَّانِيَةَ فَنَهَاهُ ثُمَّ أَتَاهُ الثَّالِثَةَ فَقَالَ ” تَزَوَّجُوا الْوَدُودَ الْوَلُودَ فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ
The Prophet received a visit from a man who announced, “I have discovered a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not bear children.” Must I propose to her? No, he replied. He tried to approach him again, but he was forbidden. On his third visit, he (the Prophet) advised him, “to marry loving, fertile women since I will be pleased with your large population when it is brought before other nations.”
According to this hadeeth, it is recommended to marry fertile women to increase the ummah’s size and make the Prophet (SAW) proud of his ummah in front of all other nations. This demonstrates that having numerous children is recommended. By no means does this Hadeeth mean you should ignore and take no notice of non-fertile women or that non-fertile women are bad? Our beloved prophet (SAW) is encouraging the Muslim ummah to have children.
2) When companions approached our beloved prophet (SAW) regarding the withdrawal method, he (SAW) replied:
لاَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ لاَ تَفْعَلُوا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ خَلْقَ نَسَمَةٍ هِيَ كَائِنَةٌ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلاَّ سَتَكُونُ
If you don’t, it won’t matter because every soul that will be born up until the Day of the Resurrection will be born. [Muslim Hadeeth no. 1438]
Jaabir (RA) mentioned:
كُنَّا نَعْزِلُ عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَبَلَغَ ذَلِكَ نَبِيَّ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَلَمْ يَنْهَنَا
We used to practise ‘azl during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (SAW). This (the news of this practice) reached Allah’s Apostle (SAW), and he did not forbid us. [Muslim Hadeeth no: 1440]
Since the use of contraception/condoms (female/male) is comparable to ‘azl (coitus interruptus or “withdrawal method”), it is acceptable as long as it does no harm and both the husband and wife agree to it.
Try staying away from pills as much as you can as it’s mentioned in healthlineUk:
“The risk of vascular disorders, such as heart attack and stroke, can be raised by birth control pills. Additionally, they may raise the chance of blood clots and, very rarely, liver cancers. These risks can be further increased by smoking, having high blood pressure, or having diabetes.”
3) Firstly, having children isn’t compulsory in Islam, rather it’s recommended as mentioned in the Hadeeth above in point (1).
One may ask, what is in it for me? Why should I exhaust my energy upon them? Although they’ll turn out disobedient what’s the point? (As you mentioned in your question)
Having children and raising them in an atmosphere that promotes Islam and Islamic teaching in the hopes that they would grow up to be excellent Muslims is a form of Ibaadah (worship). And Allah SWT will bless us and reward us for that.
Our beloved prophet (SAW) has mentioned:
أَلاَ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالأَمِيرُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ وَالْعَبْدُ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُ أَلاَ فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ
Beware. Every one of you is a shepherd and everyone is answerable about his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Be careful—each of you is a guardian, and every one of you will have his trust questioned. [Muslim Hadeeth no: 1829]
One should rise to the encounter and feel optimistic about having children and creating better Muslims in this world. You read a verse in the Qur’an that explains the Du’aa a parent can say when having children.
Ibraaheem (AS)’s du’aa which is mentioned in the Qur’an:
رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ
My Lord! Grant me offspring from the righteous. [Surah Saafaat verse 100]
In numerous ways, Allah commends his good followers, like when He declared:
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍۢ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Those who proclaim, ‘Our Lord! Give us the consolation of your eyes from our wives and our children, and make us the leaders of the Muttaqoon (god-conscious)” [Surah Furqaan verse 74]
As you can see, having children and raising them in the finest traditions of Islam is an excellent action. And Allah SWT would never consider the time, money, or resources you invest in them to be wasted. Moreover, Allah will always value every inch of time and effort you invest in them to raise your family in the light of Islam.
Allah SWT mentions in the Qur’an:
إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ ٱلْمُحْسِنِي
Indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of the doers of good. [Surah Tawbah verse 120]
We ask Allah SWT to bless the children that we intend to have and we ask Allah the most glorious to give us barakah in our time, money and energy and grant us patience.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Burhaan Rahman
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
