Fatwa ID: 06538
Answered by: Alimah Zakiratul Hoque
Question:
I have a question regarding my situation I am estranged from my husband due to a lot of abuse and verbal slander from his family who do not accept me as his wife and even resorted to the internet to call me a dog. He is aware of this abuse and said he can’t do anything about it because his family won’t listen to him yet they have never ever met me or even given me a chance a lot of the abuse is coming from children who are angry he has remarried and are a teenager.
I left and moved back to live away from this toxic environment due to the whole community gossiping about the online post and him expecting me to ignore it and be patient.
He has the capacity to move away from the area but refused to and said I am making a big deal. I went through a lot of trauma because of this and still hurt.
He recently over a text saying he is done with our marriage and wants his mehr back which wasn’t much and was spent on moving in with him and paying for bills while we lived together I refused as he still owes me an outstanding amount and he said he had enough although he didn’t say talaaq just that he is done with the marriage and me and it’s done with assuming divorce when I asked him to clarify if it’s a divorce he said yes but didn’t utter the word talaaq but just the above phrases and then said make what u want of it and interpret as want.
He’s done this too many times and after a few days claims he didn’t and we are not divorced. He is making a joke of this now and saying he will only divorce if I give mehr back and rather see me suffer and get Khula as he didn’t divorce me yet I feel his intention was that. This has gone on too long the games and it’s affecting my mental health so badly because of this marriage I have lost so much financially and trying my best to manage independently I receive no support from him yet he expects me to sacrifice and obey him when he does nothing for me.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
There is some slight confusion regarding your question, and it would be better if you had sent your husband’s words verbatim. I am unsure as to whether your husband always says he’s “done with the marriage” and asks for the Mahr back at the same time, or whether he sometimes asks for the Mahr back and sometimes doesn’t. Therefore, I will try to provide details regarding what would happen in both situations.
Husband said he was done and didn’t mention Mahr
There are two types of words which may cause a divorce: clear, unambiguous words (Sareeh); and unclear, ambiguous words (Kinaayah)
Kinaayah refers to those words which may be used in and out of the context of divorce (i.e., they are not exclusive to divorce but may hint at it) (Badai Al Sanai, Vol 4, Pg 281). (1) When such words are used, the intention of the husband and the circumstances under which he uttered them would be considered (Fatawa Hindiyyah, Vol 1, Pg 410). (2)
To say one is “done with the marriage” is a Kinaayah phrase and the ruling of divorce depends on the husband’s intentions. As your husband confirmed that he intended to divorce, divorce will take place. As he didn’t stipulate an exchange in that instance, you would not need to return your Mahr.
Husband said he was done and asked for the Mahr:
If your husband asked for the Mahr back each time he said he’s done, and he meant divorce, we can assume that he means he will give a divorce if you return the Mahr. However, as he said he’s done “and” asked for the Mahr back, the “and” separated the 2 phrases (Badai Al Sanai, Vol 4, Pg 392-393). (3) An irrevocable divorce would occur (due to the abovementioned reasons) and the Mahr will not need to be paid.
To conclude, an irrevocable divorce occurred from your husband’s words.
(1)
فهو كل لفظ يستعمل في الطلاق و يستعمل في غيره
(2)
الفصل الخامس في الكنايات : لا يقع بها الطلاق الا بالنية او بدلالة حال كذا في الجوهرة النبرة
(3)
و لو قال : انت طالق ، و عليك الف درهم ، طلقت المرأة الرجعية و له الرجعة ، لا شيء عليها من الالف سواء قبلت او لم تقبل في قول ابي حنيفة و قال ابو يوسف و مهمد : اذا قبلت طلقت بائة ، و عليها الف … و لابي حنيفة ان كل واحد من الكلامين كلام نام بنفسه … لان كل واحد منهما مبتدأ و خبر ، بلا يجعل الثاني متصلا بالاول الا بالضرورة … و لا ضرورة في الطلاق ، و العتاق ، لان الغالب وجودهما بغير عوض ، فلا يجعل الثاني متصلا بالاول من غير ضرورة
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Alimah Zakiratul Hoque
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
