Fatwa ID: 07383
Answered by: Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Question:
I have a question about Zihar. Its been 2 years of my engagement. I have done my Nikah but we are not living together because we have to wait for marriage. In last 2 years i have been calling my wife bby, babe or baby. i was calling her this name out of affection and love. I would call her, my baby out of affection or I would call her that you are my cute baby or i will love you or care for you because you are my baby, bby. Now i heard about Zihar and i am worried that if Zihar has occurred .
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Zihar was a practise of the Arabs in the days of ignorance, when a couple faced a disagreement, the husband would declare ‘Zihar’ on his wife. In other words, he would say, “You are for me like the back of my mother.”1 After doing so, he would treat his wife to be prohibited and refrain from sexual relations with her – just as his mother would be prohibited for him. This act would lead to invalidating the bonds of marriage. In such a situation, although the woman will remain as his wife, sexual intercourse becomes impermissible until the husband pays compensation (Kaffarah) for the relationship to return to normal.
(Maariful Quran P.345 V.8)
If the husband did not use words to liken her and just said she was his mother, sister, or daughter then it is of no consequence. 2
Calling your wife ‘bby’, ‘babe’, or ‘baby’, out of love and affection is a western cultural practice and is usually meant as a term of affection and endearment. As you have mentioned, your intention was that of affection and not intending Zihar, therefore your marriage is not harmed. 3
Only Allah Knows Best
Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
1 هُوَ لُغَةً مَصْدَرُ ظَاهَرَ مِنْ امْرَأَتِهِ: إذَا قَالَ لَهَا أَنْتِ عَلَيَّ كَظَهْرِ أُمِّي. -.
ص465 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – باب الظهار – المكتبة الشاملة
2 وَاحْتَرَزَ بِهِ عَنْ نَحْوِ أَنْتِ أُمِّي بِلَا تَشْبِيهٍ فَإِنَّهُ بَاطِلٌ وَإِنْ نَوَى.
ص466 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – باب الظهار – المكتبة الشاملة
3 وَالصَّحِيحُ أَنَّهُ إنْ لَمْ يَنْوِ شَيْئًا لَا يَكُونُ إيلَاءً، وَإِنْ نَوَى الطَّلَاقَ يَكُونُ طَلَاقًا، وَإِنْ نَوَى الظِّهَارَ لَا يَكُونُ ظِهَارًا اهـ وَكَذَا فِي التَّتَارْخَانِيَّة والشُّرُنبُلالِيَّة مَعْزِيًّا لِلْخَانِيَّةِ، فَعُلِمَ أَنَّ لَفْظَةَ ” لَا ” سَاقِطَةٌ مِنْ نُسْخَةِ صَاحِبِ النَّهْرِ، وَبِهِ تَأَيَّدَ مَا فِي الْبَدَائِعِ وَغَيْرِهَا فَافْهَمْ (قَوْلُهُ: فَإِنَّ التَّشْبِيهَ بِالْأُمِّ إلَخْ) جَوَابٌ عَمَّا قِيلَ إنَّهُ لَيْسَ فِيهِ تَشْبِيهٌ بِعُضْوٍ يَحْرُمُ النَّظَرُ إلَيْهِ مِنْ مُحَرَّمَةٍ (قَوْلُهُ: مَعْزِيًّا لِلْمُحِيطِ) الَّذِي رَأَيْته فِي الْقُهُسْتَانِيِّ عَزْوُهُ لِلنَّظْمِ بِدُونِ ذِكْرِ التَّصْحِيحِ، وَإِنَّمَا هُوَ مَذْكُورٌ فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ، وَلَكِنْ لِعَكْسِ مَا قَالَ كَمَا عَلِمْت (قَوْلُهُ: كَإِنْ نَكَحْتُك) أَيْ تَزَوَّجْتُك، وَهَذَا مِثَالٌ لِسَبَبِ الْمِلْكِ، وَمِثَالُ الْمِلْكِ كَإِنْ صِرْتِ زَوْجَةً لِي.
ص467 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – باب الظهار – المكتبة الشاملة
