Fatwa ID: 06693
Answered by: Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Question:
Does it suffice for me to have no contact with extended relatives such as second, third, fourth, fifth cousins and so on? What about the uncles and aunts of my parents? Or the children of these cousins. Did I sever my ties of kinship with them, or did they sever their ties of kinship with me because we haven’t met before or because we haven’t called each other in years? Where does family end? How far out must we go?
In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Allāh Ta’ālā has said: “O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created from its match, and spread from both of them many men and women. And fear Allāh, through whom you ask one another, and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allāh is watchful over you.” [Surah An-Nisā’; 4:1] [1]
Abu Huraira RA reported that a person said: “O Messenger of Allāh, I have relatives with whom I try to have close relationships, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me.” Upon this, He ﷺ responded: “If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allāh (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness). [Sāhīh al-Muslim: Hadith 2558] [2]
There are multiple other verses of the Noble Qur’ān and Hadiths which emphasise the importance of maintaining family ties and warn against severing them. The warning is against severing family ties. This means, that if there was a falling out for whatever reason and neither party attempted to reconcile, then they would be liable to be penalized for it.
However, simply not being in contact with relatives, be it close or distant, does not make one sinful so long as there is no malice there between either side. Sometimes, it can be not easy to be in regular contact with relatives and Shariah understands this. Thus, there are no ramifications for falling out of contact with someone. We can go years without talking to a relative, as long as there is no malice there, then there is no harm.
When we see them or call them, there is love and compassion, but if we do not speak to them, there is no hurt. Of course, as much as possible we should attempt to stay in contact with our relatives, friends, those who were or are close to our parents (their friends) etc. All of these are reward-worthy actions.
However, if one does become distant from a relative without there being any malice or hurt between either side then there is no issue there.
Only Allāh Ta’ālā knows best.
Written by Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
}[1] يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡس وَٰحِدَة وَخَلَقَ مِنۡهَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡهُمَا رِجَالا كَثِيرا وَنِسَآءۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِي تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبا {
[2]حَدَّثَنِي مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، – وَاللَّفْظُ لاِبْنِ الْمُثَنَّى – قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ الْعَلاَءَ بْنَ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي، هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَجُلاً، قَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ لِي قَرَابَةً أَصِلُهُمْ وَيَقْطَعُونِي وَأُحْسِنُ إِلَيْهِمْ وَيُسِيئُونَ إِلَىَّ وَأَحْلُمُ عَنْهُمْ وَيَجْهَلُونَ عَلَىَّ . فَقَالَ “ لَئِنْ كُنْتَ كَمَا قُلْتَ فَكَأَنَّمَا تُسِفُّهُمُ الْمَلَّ وَلاَ يَزَالُ مَعَكَ مِنَ اللَّهِ ظَهِيرٌ عَلَيْهِمْ مَا دُمْتَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ ” .
