Fatwa ID: 02784
Answered by: Maulana Imran Mughal
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
I have a few questions and I need detailed answers with the reference of the Quran and Hadeeth.
1. If Wife doesn't allow Husband to have Physical relationship with her and she makes excuses all the time. In this case what husband needs to do and for how long (months or years) a Husband should wait. What does Islam say about such wives? Can a Husband marry someone else without giving Talaq to the first wife?
2. Can a husband ask the wife to share household expenses? It is the case when the husband is earning way less than the wife and it is very difficult to run household expenses. Or it depends on wife whether she wants to share or not?
3. Does a wife need to fulfil the ethical, legal and Islamic commands of the Husband in a case when the husband is earning less money as compared to the wife?
4. What does Islam say about those wives who ask for Talaq without any valid reasons?
Jazakumullaah Khair
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
1. If the excuses used for not have sexual intercourse with the husband are legitimate, then intercourse cannot take place, for example, if she was still waiting to receive her mahr or if she was sick and was physically capable of doing so.[1]
Islam has ordained sexual intimacy for both the husband and the wife in order to fulfil their urges in a halal manner. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning."[2]
Islam does not place a time period for how long a husband should wait, rather that is up to his own volition. Allah does say in the Quran that if the husband and wife are having difficulties in the marriage that they should resort to a third person, generally an elder from both families. However, the couple may turn to a local scholar if the matter is a delicate one like in this situation. Allah says in the Quran: “And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].”[3]
If need be, the husband can marry another wife as long as he can fulfil the rights of both of his wives, such that their finances are taken care of and that he can ensure justice to both of them. A husband can marry another wife without divorcing the first one.
2. Islam has placed the man as the caretaker of his wife, children and other family members. If the wife is working, then it is her own will if she were to contribute in the household expenses of the house and that will be considered as charity from her side.
Perhaps the couple should sit down and assess their finances in order to determine if that is a necessity. If the wife is working there is no deterrent for her to contribute as she is contributing to their life, not just his.
3. Yes, just because the husband is not working or makes less money does not mean that she does not need to fulfil the commands of the husband. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands.”[4]
This hadith has come in order to show the obedience that a woman should have for her husband. However, this should not be abused by the husband. Remember, that moderation, love, kindness and mercy triumph over all. The Prophet (peace be upon him) has also said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives."[5]
4. Again, it is up to the husband’s volition to assess the situation. The best action to take is what was mentioned before regarding bringing in a third party in order to reconcile between the couple as mentioned in the verse of the Quran.
Only Allah Ta’ala knows best
Written by Maulana Imran Mughal
Checked and approved by Ustadha Sabrina
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] Ibn Abidin, Ar-Radd al-Muhtaar (Riyadh, Dar Alam al-Kutub,2003), 4:284-285.
[2] Sahih Bukhari Hadith 3237.
[3] Quran, 4:35.
[4] Sunan Ibn Majah Hadith 1853.
[5] Ibid., Hadith 1977.
