Fatwa ID: 07459
Answered by: Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Question:
I recently learned about Hurmatul Musahara, and the fear of it is driving me crazy. I’m always scared that I’ll do something which will cause it to take place.
Anytime I shake hands with men in my family I get this butterfly-like feeling in my private parts (I am not attracted to them whatsoever) I’m not sure if it’s because of fear or anxiety that Hurmatul Musahara will take place or something else. I don’t know what exactly lust feels like so I’m really confused regarding this.
Please help me with this. I don’t know what to do. Also if someone touches a picture through their phone with lust, will that also cause hurmarul musahara?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
A general principle in the Hanafi madhab is that lustful touching establishes the prohibition of marriage (i.e. the man is forbidden to marry the woman’s female descendants and ascendants, and the woman is forbidden to marry the man’s male descendants and ascendants).
In this case, although the mother herself is considered Haram for the son, nevertheless the arousal towards her (even if one-sided) accompanied with desire/lust is the very factor which establishes the Hurmatul Musaharah. If ‘shahwah’ i.e. desire, accompanied by erection had already been present and does not increase upon touching, or did not occur after touching, and did not increase due to touching then the Hurmatul Musaharah is not confirmed.
Islam has placed many safe boundaries within the family structure for safeguarding relationships. Engaging in unlawful sexual relationships is a major sin. However, this major sin is further increased when such acts are committed with one’s mother/father, sister/brother or daughter/son because it severs the ties of kinship. Furthermore, it is a direct violation of the rights of those with whom one is enjoined to uphold the ties of kinship.
When a mature (baligh) male or female touches the opposite gender with desire/lust, separated by a thin barrier between them whereby the body warmth is felt, then Hurmatul Musaharah is said to be established. The presence of shahwah is given precedence.
Therefore, technically no Hurmatul Musaharah can take place if someone touches a picture through their phone with lust. However, entertaining this thought and touching a picture with lust must be avoided as engaging in these thoughts can lead to Hurmatul Musaharah.
It is narrated by Abu Hurairah (ra): The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah forgives my followers those (evil deeds) their souls may whisper or suggest to them as long as they do not act (on it) or speak.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari: 6664]
From this hadith, we can deduce that it is possible for deviant thoughts to enter our minds. However, with exerted effort, one can repel those thoughts and this is a form of a trial. In Islam, it is considered normal to have good and bad thoughts flow in and out of your mind. What incurs sin is if you act upon the bad or evil thoughts outwardly, causing yourself and others harm.
If you don’t act upon them and manage to repel the thoughts in your head, then there is no sin. This form of jihad is something we deal with on a day-to-day basis. To have these recurring thoughts involuntarily and to fight the temptation and ward off the thoughts is a rewardable act and is considered a jihad of the Nafs (Battle of the Self). If these thoughts continue then you may consider marriage to satisfy these instinctive needs.
(وأصل ماسته وناظرة إلى ذكره والمنظور إلى فرجها) المدور (الداخل) ولو نظره من زجاج أو ماء هي فيه (وفروعهن) مطلقا والعبرة للشهوة عند المس والنظر لا بعدهما وحدها فيهما تحرك آلته أو زيادته به يفتى وفي امرأة ونحو شيخ كبير تحرك قبله أو زيادته وفي الجوهرة: لا يشترط في النظر لفرج تحريك آلته به يفتى هذا إذا لم ينزل فلو أنزل مع مس أو نظر فلا حرمة به يفتي
حَدَّثَنَا خَلاَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى، حَدَّثَنَا مِسْعَرٌ، حَدَّثَنَا قَتَادَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا زُرَارَةُ بْنُ أَوْفَى، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، يَرْفَعُهُ قَالَ “ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ لأُمَّتِي عَمَّا وَسْوَسَتْ أَوْ حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا، مَا لَمْ تَعْمَلْ بِهِ أَوْ تَكَلَّمْ ”.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
