Fatwa ID: 07577
Answered by: Maulana Sarfraz Mohammad
Question
I have a crush on a girl, but her deen is not good as she has boyfreinds and doesn’t wear proper hijab. How do I stop my infatuation with her as I daydream of marrying her?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer
To stop your infatuation with someone whose values don’t align with your religious principles, here are a few steps you can take:
- Refocus on Allah: Strengthen your connection with Allah through prayer, Qur’an recitation, and seeking His guidance. This will help realign your priorities and make it easier to let go of desires that may not be beneficial for your deen.
- Avoid unnecessary contact: Limit your interactions with her to prevent your feelings from growing. If possible, avoid situations that may lead to further emotional attachment.
- Remember your priorities: Marriage in Islam is meant to help you grow in your faith. Reflect on what qualities are essential for a spouse who will support your journey in deen. If her current behaviour contradicts those values, it’s important to recognise that this may not be the right match for you.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry a religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.
Only Allah Knows Best.
Answered by Maulana Sarfraz Mohammad
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
هذا الحديث رواه البخاري (4802) ومسلم (1466)
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا، وَلِحَسَبِهَا، وَلِجَمَالِهَا، وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ .
Insha’Allah, with effort and du’a, you’ll be able to overcome these feelings and focus on what’s best for your deen and future.
