Fatwa ID: 08840
Answered by: Muftiyah Shireen Mangera-Badat
Question:
Two Walimah’s to be scheduled for the same date, 21 December 2024. The person who is invited lives in Jhb. The first invite, from a non-family member, came through on 14 September 2024. The Walimah will be in Jhb. It has already been accepted. The second invite is yet to come from a family member. This Walimah will be in Dbn. It will not be possible to attend both.
There is a Hadith that states:
وقال البهوتي في كشاف القناع (٥/١٦٩): (وإن دعاه اثنان إلى وليمتين أجاب أسبقهما بالقول) لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام: فإن سبق أحدهما فأجب الذي سبق، رواه أبو داود
There is also a great possibility of the family member getting extremely upset if their Walimah in Dbn is not attended, to the point that they may stop speaking to the person. One way would be to explain the circumstances to the non-family member, and if he is okay with it, then the person may attend the family member’s Walimah.
However, what would be the principal position if the non-family member does not agree for the person to attend the family member’s Walimah and says, “But I invited you first”?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
In light of the Islamic principles and etiquettes surrounding invitations, As stated in the hadith you mentioned you would need to honour the first invitation.[1] In this case, the first invitation (from the non-family member in Jhb) was accepted on 14 September 2024, so the principal position would be to honour this commitment.
However, Maintaining family ties (silat al-rahim) is highly emphasised in Islam. If the family member is likely to take significant offense and sever ties, it would be prudent to make every effort to avoid this outcome, even if it requires explaining the situation and seeking the understanding of the non-family member.
Explain your predicament to the non-family member, hoping they will understand your situation. If they insist on your attendance, it is advised to honor their invitation. If you attend the Walimah of the non-family member, consider sending a representative on your behalf to the family member’s Walimah, with the hope that they will understand.
In summary, it would be best that you wait for the second invitation, and graciously accept the first, but trying to mitigage the circumstance and keeping good relations as recommended by hadith:-
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should unite the bond of kinship (i.e. keep good relation with his kith and kin); and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should talk what is good or keep quiet.”[2]– Sahih al-Bukhari 6138
References:
[1] عَنْ رَجُلٍ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «إِذَا اجْتَمَعَ الدَّاعِيَانِ فَأَجِبْ أَقْرَبَهُمَا بَابًا وَإِنْ سَبَقَ أَحَدُهُمَا فَأَجِبِ الَّذِي سَبَقَ» . رَوَاهُ أَحْمَدُ وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ
https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3223
[2] حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا مَعْمَرٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ ضَيْفَهُ، وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ، وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6138
Only Allah knows best
Written by Muftiyah Shireen Mangera-Badat
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
