Fatwa ID: 02748
Answered by: Maulana Muddasser Dhedhy
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah!
How effective the badduwa (curse) of stepmother? If I request for forgiveness, will I live happy in Islam, if I genuinely I regret it?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Answer:
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,
A stepmother does not hold the same rank as a biological mother. However, given her relationship to your father, you must ensure that you do not upset her. An equal amount of respect and honour should be shown to her as shown to one’s own mother. Under no circumstances should she be disrespected because this will hurt your father.
The following are two ahadeeth in relation to a parent’s dua and caring for a parent’s associates,
وعن جابر رضي الله عنهما قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: "لا تدعوا على أنفسكم، ولا تدعوا على أولادكم، ولا تدعو على أموالكم، لا توافقوا من الله ساعة يسأل فيها عطاء، فيستجيب لكم" (رواه مسلم).
Jabir (RA) reported: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Do not invoke curses on yourself or on your children or on your possessions lest you should happen to do it at a moment when the supplications are accepted, and your prayer might be granted.” [Muslim]
عَنْ أَبِي أُسَيْدٍ، مَالِكِ بْنِ رَبِيعَةَ السَّاعِدِيِّ قَالَ بَيْنَا نَحْنُ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا جَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَنِي سَلِمَةَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَلْ بَقِيَ مِنْ بِرِّ أَبَوَىَّ شَىْءٌ أَبَرُّهُمَا بِهِ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهِمَا قَالَ " نَعَمِ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَيْهِمَا وَالاِسْتِغْفَارُ لَهُمَا وَإِنْفَاذُ عَهْدِهِمَا مِنْ بَعْدِهِمَا وَصِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ الَّتِي لاَ تُوصَلُ إِلاَّ بِهِمَا وَإِكْرَامُ صَدِيقِهِمَا " (رواه أبو داود)
Narrated Abu Usayd Malik ibn Rabi'ah as-Sa'idi (RA): While we were with the Messenger of Allah! (pbuh) a man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Messenger of Allah is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends. [Abu Dawud]
Thus, it is vital that you treat your stepmother well and if you have caused her any inconvenience you sincerely seek her forgiveness and make a resolve not to cause her any trouble again. Thereafter provided she has forgiven you, you may be at ease.
Only Allah Ta'ala knows best
Written by Maulana Muddasser Dhedhy
Checked and approved by Ustadha Sabrina al-Faarsiyyah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
