Fatwa ID: 05847
Answered by: Maulana Tammim Mohamadou
Question:
Me and my husband have separated, and I have gone to live with my mother at first, he agreed to the separation due to my poor health which was caused by my marriage and living in a toxic environment due to in-laws.
He has now changed his mind and seeking my mahr back in return for the exchange of my personal belongings and furniture. He does not want to take time out or reconcile but is forcing me to do Khula.
Brother, I have no clothes or furniture for myself and my son who is from my first marriage and I have told him to get this done via shariah our dispute which he agreed however he is still failing to return my items and I do not want to involve the police but have no choice he will not listen to anyone.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Allah ﷻ says in the Holy Qur’an:
“Divorce is twice; then either to retain in the recognized manner or to release in fairness. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything from what you have given them unless both apprehend that they would not be able to maintain the limits set by Allah. Now, if you apprehend that they would not maintain the limits set by Allah, then, there is no sin on them in what she gives up to secure her release. These are the limits set by Allah. Therefore, do not exceed them. And whosoever exceeds limits set by Allah, then, those are the transgressors.” (Sural Al-Baqarah, 229)
According to the drift of Islamic teachings, the contract of Nikah should be for the whole lifespan. The point of departure where it has to be broken or terminated should never be reached because the discontinuation of this deal affects not only the parties involved but goes on to destroy children, and their children, and at times, it may even cause whole families and tribes to end up with disturbed relations, which in turn, badly infects the whole society. Therefore, the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah have taken all necessary steps to remove impediments that may cause the breaking of this agreement. […] [ CITATION All951 \l 1033 ]
Should disagreements crop up, instructions were given to first try and understand each other’s point of view and talk it out, and in the event of failure, ways of restraint, hard advice and warning were identified. Should the tussle become serious, and these elementary steps do not bring a resolution of the crisis, the parties were then expected to set up a panel for arbitration comprising of the members of their immediate families who could help patch up the differences. When all efforts for reconciliation fail and the parties are still in conflict, feel that being married together is a mutual punishment. Under such conditions, terminating this husband-wife relationship becomes, in itself, a way-out promising comfort and peace for the parties and this is Talaq, this right has been given to men. [ CITATION All951 \l 1033 ]
But women too were given the right to take her case to a court presided by a judge who qualifies as such under the rules of Shari’ah, present her complaint, prove her case, and get the marriage annulled, or secure a divorce. [ CITATION All951 \l 1033 ]
Unfortunately, there are some husbands who neither wish to retain their wives, nor care about their rights, nor give them divorce. This is a sinful act as mentioned in the Qur’an.
Having said above, we read your query and we understand that the mutual consent to resolve the dispute simply is not functioning well due to one party not showing the willingness to terminate the Nikah by issuing Talaq.
Considering the fact that few details are available to us, we advise you to contact the local Shari’ah council to file a petition in regard to your situation, in shā Allah.
By doing so, you will get a fair treatment of your case in a reasonable timely manner.
In the event that he will still remain in his position and is not be willing to accept a compromise then you should proceed towards what is legally possible according to your country, in shā Allah.
In parallel to this process, keep repenting to Allah ﷻ to help you out in this challenging time.
May Allah ﷻ support you and ease your situation, Āmīn.
Only Allah (ﷻ) knows best.
Written by Maulana Tammim Mohamadou
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
| [1] | Allamah Shafi Uthmani, Maarif-ul-Quran, Karachi, Pakistan: Maktaba-e-Darul-Uloom, 1995. |
