Fatwa ID: 03304
Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
I have separated from my husband for over 2 and a half years. I want a divorce but every time I ask he avoids the topic. I have a son with him. When I met him, he was a Christian and converted but while being married he never tried to be a Muslim. He wouldn't go to the mosque even on big nights or even for Eid. In front of family and friends, he would pretend like he’s fasting but never used to. He also started hiding and drinking and was emotionally abusive.
He used to swear at me and called me very bad names out in public and at home. I did everything I could to make the marriage work which he didn’t appreciate it. He hasn’t been working but tried to arrange money with odd jobs. I worked and he used to take my money and go to the casino. When my son was born, I left him as I didn’t want my son to pick up his bad habits.
For the past 3 years, he visited his son 9 times. He doesn’t help much financially and would send like R200 or R300 once every 6 months. He buys things for the child but mostly junk food. Please help me as I really want a divorce. I have no feelings for him and wish to move on with my life.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
If your husband does not give you divorce and he is neither practising the obligations of Islam nor providing for you, then you can ask for khula’ whereby you return the dowry in exchange for a divorce.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) permitted this as narrated in the following Hadith:
Narrated Ibn `Abbas: The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in a un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once."
(Sahih Bukhari 5273)
You need to go to an Imam or Islamic court in your country where they can take you through the procedure.
Only Allah knows best
Answered by Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and approved by Ustadha Sabrina al-Faarsiyyah
Darul Ifta Birmingham