Fatwa ID: 05781
Answered by: Mufti Muddasser Dhedhy
On one occasion nearly 6 -8 months ago my husband says that he said: “talaq-take if you want” He actually said all of this in Urdu ( talaq -lele agar chahiye tumko) Whereas I only remember him using the word “talaq ” and I don’t recall and I don’t remember him the complete phrase as he mentioned Then again a few months ago on a 2nd occasion my husband says that he said -“talaq talaq I will give take it if you want ” In Urdu, he said ( Talaq talaq – dedunga) Whereas here also I remember him using the word talaq talaq twice and I don’t remember him using the whole phrase as he mentioned Then again after this on a 3rd different occasion my husband said Talaq talaq I will give you talaq In Urdu he said ( Talaq talaq dedunga talaq) Whereas I remember this exactly as he says And to mention – my husband said that he never had the intention of giving talaq in all the 3 occasions. And he also said he could never imagine his life without me. Here in my home town, we contacted Hanafi mufti and he said all the 3 times the talaq has not taken place because it was in the future tense. I follow Hanafi madhab and my husband follows Salafi madhab and according to Salafi mufti also the talaq has not taken place All this is causing me a lot of trauma because I only remember my husband’s exact words when he used it the 3rd time And about the 1st and 2nd occasion. I only remember him using the word “talaq” and I don’t remember him telling the full phrase as he mentioned This is causing a lot of doubts in my mind to a state that I have got into depression, I’m not able to eat sleep and do my regular activities I am thinking to meet a psychiatrist because I am in deep depression. I do not want to separate from my husband. After all, this happened Me and my husband had gone to perform Umrah to Makkah and Madina there he stood in front of the Kaba and also held Quran in his hand and swore That whatever I told you is true please, believe me, a person like me who fears Allah and akhirah will not lie But I don’t know why after all this I am not able to come out of these thoughts It is causing me a lot of waswasa What should I do please help This problem is causing because I don’t remember him telling the full phrase as he mentions because it was 6 or 8 months ago In this scenario what should I do? Stay with him or not?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Considering the words in Urdu and English which you provided, your husband gave you the choice to take divorce if you wanted to in the particular setting/seating in which you were given the choice. Given that you did not choose divorce when your husband gave you the choice, divorce would not have applied. The same applies to the second and third time your husband used the words you have described. Also, we take into consideration what your husband has confirmed about the various episodes that have taken place and the wording that he used in each of them.1
In regards to the doubts and confusion you are facing, it is vital that you turn to Allah and ask Him to put contentment in your heart and that you trust your husband for what he has said as well as the other scholars you have consulted all of whom have stated that your marriage is still intact.
Only Allah Ta’ala knows best.
Written by Mufti Muddasser Dhedhy
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
1 (الباب الثالث في تفويض الطلاق) وفيه ثلاثة فصول. (الفصل الأول في الاختيار) إذا قال لامرأته اختاري ينوي بذلك الطلاق أو قال لها طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق نفسها ما دامت في مجلسها ذلك وإن تطاول يوما أو أكثر ما لم تقم منه أو تأخذ في عمل آخر وكذا إذا قام هو من المجلس فالأمر في يدها ما دامت في مجلسها وليس للزوج أن يرجع في ذلك ولا ينهاها عما جعل إليها ولا يفسخ كذا في الجوهرة النيرة. إذا قامت عن مجلسها قبل أن تختار نفسها وكذا إذا اشتغلت بعمل آخر يعلم أنه كان قاطعا لما قبله كما إذا دعت بطعام لتأكله أو نامت أو نشطت أو اغتسلت أو اختضبت أو جامعها زوجها أو خاطبت رجلا بالبيع والشراء فهذا كله يبطل خيارها كذا في السراج الوهاج. (الفتاوى الهندية ج 1 ص 423. دار الكتب العلمية)
فتاوى محمودية ج 13 ص 150-151. دار الإفتاء جامعة فاروقية كراتشي