Fatwa ID: 07186

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Ubaidur Rahman

 

Question:

 

Asalamualaikum, hope you are well I wanted some opinions despite having done a lot of research and finding little evidence to show a real divorce from my wife but I wanted to clarify as every day I am worried. I wanted to know the opinions on all schools and the major opinion on these. From my research and other peoples anecdotes I see there hasn’t ever been a divorce but I’m very scared all the time.

 

Incident 1:

 

When I married my wife she said something about taking the property from me unless we get a divorce as a joke or statement and I went “I will” that’s it, with 0 intention 0 thought just a lighthearted comment which I now see as very inappropriate and wrong.

 

Incident 2:

 

During arguments or anger I may have said things like “I’m done” “go away” “leave me alone” “I can’t be bothered” “i  can’t continue like this” “I don’t want someone like this” “I don’t want to be with you”  With all these i specifically meant to say it out of frustration or in the moment I never wanted a divorce or I don’t remember and said it without any thought out of habit,  but mainly I know that I never once I wanted a divorce.

 

Incident 3:

 

When my mum asked during an argument between us if I want to continue this marriage I said “not if she’s a lazy person” but with no intention of divorce I meant I don’t WANT to have to do it but I will and to be honest I don’t even care much if she stayed lazy I just said it without any thought. Is this an implicit conditional divorce?

 

Another time was when she was acting crazy, I said “if you keep acting crazy i’m gone” but I didn’t even think of divorce but now i’m thinking there is waswasa telling me I did even though im sure I haven’t and never will. I also text my older sister saying  “I don’t want her” and later added “at the moment” with no intention either during argument back then.

 

Incident 4:

 

My little baby sister asked me if she is my wife and I said “no she’s my friend” sarcastically, does this constitute as one, also where I live I told the people she is my girlfriend briefly as they are non Muslims but none of these were intended to make her that. I also may call her “bro” jokingly. On insurance sheets I put us both as not married as I thought that, we are  not married according to UK law but just Islamic nikkah.

 

 

Incident 5:

 

I’ve also thought about divorce once or twice or the words “I divorce you” in my head. other times to her I have said” I have thought potentially we should maybe get a divorce” to her does any of this count.

 

 

Incident 6:

 

I’ve also given conditional divorce and she has met the conditions instantly so does it not count? But then i doubt it for example once I said “come here or you are divorced” and she came and fulfilled it then walked away after a bit. Although i didn’t think for her to keep walking with me and didn’t think enough of the condition is the condition still fulfilled? I feel like it is and there isn’t any divorce because she did what I wanted and asked but just need clarification. Another example I said to give her phone password or she will be divorced and she didn’t do it and hesitated but I waited and I didn’t want it in that moment I specially thought within today and I reminded her it could be a divorce and I reminded again and she did it. Is this a divorce even though my condition wasn’t specific I just wanted the password around the moment of time she did it? With all these there was no intention of divorce.

 

 

Incident 7:

 

I’m sorry for the vast array of messages but finally the other day my wife said she will go to someone to get a divorce done after some argument, and I said “go if you want” and she said “I will”. I later found out that you can delegate divorce to your wife by giving her right. My intention was to let her go and get her anger out and speak to imaam and see how silly this is and then come back, hers was to actually get a divorce which she later said she doesn’t ever want and doesn’t intend it now. Not once did I want her to go and the divorce to happen and never did I intend to “delegate” the right to her, and I didn’t know what it was. Is this counted?

 

 

These are all immature mistakes and I’ve not argued since and won’t use such stupid language again. The issue is all the research points to none of these being a divorce except for one post saying “hanafi and hanbali take circumstantial evidence like anger or arguing as intention which leads to a divorce” but I never had an intention of divorce in any scenario ever.

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

 

Answer:

 

Allah mentions in the Quraan:

 

ٱلطَّلَـٰقُ مَرَّتَانِ ۖ فَإِمْسَاكٌۢ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌۢ بِإِحْسَـٰنٍۢ ۗ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْـًٔا إِلَّآ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا ٱفْتَدَتْ بِهِۦ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ¹

 

Translation: Divorce may be retracted twice, then the husband must retain ˹his wife˺ with honour or separate ˹from her˺ with grace.¹ It is not lawful for husbands to take back anything of the dowry given to their wives, unless the couple fears not being able to keep within the limits of Allah.² So if you fear they will not be able to keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame if the wife compensates the husband to obtain divorce.³ These are the limits set by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah, they are the ˹true˺ wrongdoers.

 

 

The Prophet PBUH says in a hadeeth:

 

عَن محَارب بن دثار، عَن ابْن عمر رَضِي الله عَنهُ، عَن النَّبِي 

[صلى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسلم] قَالَ: “

أبْغض الْحَلَال إِلَى الله تَعَالَى الطَّلَاق² 

 

Translation: ‘The Most detestable acts which have been made permissible is talaaq’

 

 

In relation to the complex situation that you are in right now, it is important to keep in mind how we need to be careful with our words and dialect, and the manner in which we say things. It is very easy to allow our whimsical desires to get a hold of us, especially as things progress and get heated in arguments or conversation, even if the surrounding precipitating factors do not contribute to that directly. Even things said jokingly, in shariah Islamic law they hold weight and can impact on a whole range of things.

 

Intention is paramount in all of the incidents and scenarios you have mentioned above.

 

 

Incident 1:

 

When your wife said it as a joke and you confirmed it as a joke, the intention did not stand as you were both saying it as a joke and you mentioned it with nil intention of getting a divorce. The danger with this is that if for a moment you got serious and decided to take her up on what she said and the intention was there even fractionally, then divorce would occur.

 

 

Incident 2:

 

Similarly, in the second instance mentioned saying things out of frustration and anger whilst not intending divorce and out of habit, would still not constitute divorce, but with the danger of such words being used and able to be mistook as something else, it is better to be able to hold your tongue or find a different set of vocabulary so that clearer words could be used to express frustration rather than holding any danger with which it carried danger of issuing divorce

 

 

Incident 3:

 

Intention is important so divorce did not occur and divorce did not occur

 

 

Incident 4:

 

Intention is paramount so divorce did not occur

 

 

Incident 5:

 

Saying and thinking about divorce in isolation, divorce does not occur. Unless directly issued with clear or ambiguous wording with the intention of divorce, divorce does not occur.

 

 

Incident 6:

 

Divorce does not occur

 

 

Incident 7:

 

Divorce does not occur

 

In all these incidents divorce does not occur but you have to be incredibly mindful and exercise language to a good degree so that words can be used properly and such doubts or confusion or difficult positions do not occur.

 

 

 

ويقع طلاق كل زوج إذا كان عاقلا بالغا ولا يقع طلاق الصبي والمجنون والنائم وإذا تزود العبد ثم طلق وقع طلاقه ولا يقع طلاق مولاه على امرأته

 

والطلاق على ضربين: صريح وكناية فالصريح قوله: أنت طالق ومطلقه وطلقتك فهذا يقع به الطلاق الرجعي ولا يقع به إلا واحدة وإن نوى أكثر من ذلك ولا يفتقر إلى النية

وقوله: أنت الطلاق أو أنت طالق الطلاق أو أنت طالق طلاقا فإن لم تكن له نية فهي واحدة رجعية وإن نوى به ثلاثا كان ثلاثا

 

والضرب الثاني: والكنايات ولا يقع بها الطلاق إلا بينة أو دلاله حال وهي على ضربين منها ثلاثة ألفاظ بها الطلاق الرجعي ولا يقع بها إلا واحدة وهي قوله: اعتدي واستبرئي رحمك وأنت واحدة

 

وبقيه الكنايات إذا نوى بها الطلاق كانت واحدة بائنة³

 

 

أَن الله تَعَالَى شرع صَرِيح الطَّلَاق بعد المفاداة، لِأَن الْفَاء حرف تعقيب، ⁴

 

ويقعُ بها واحدة رجعيَّة، وإن نوى ضدَّه): أي ضدَّ الواحدةِ الرَّجعيَّة، وهو الواحدةُ البائنة، أو أكثرُ من الواحدة، ولفظ «المختصر»: ويقعُ بها رجعيَّة أبداً (١): أي سواءٌ لم ينو، أو نوى واحدةً رجعية، أو بائنة، أو أكثرَ من الواحدة،(أو لم ينوِ شيئاً.

وفي أنت الطَّلاقُ، أو أنت طالقٌ الطَّلاقُ، أو أنت طالقٌ طلاقاً يقعُ واحدة رجعية إن لم ينوِ شيئاً، أو نوى واحدة، أو اثنتين، وإن نوى ثلاثاً فثلاث)، هذا في الحرَّة، أمَّا في الأمةِ فثنتان بمَنْزلةِ الثَّلاث في الحرَّة، وقد ذُكِرَ في أصولِ الفقه (٢): إن لفظَ المصدرِ واحدٌ لا يدلُّ على العدد، فالثَّلاثُ واحدٌ اعتباريٌّ من حيث أنَّه مجموع، فتصحُّ نيَّتُه، وإن لم ينوِ يقعُ الواحدُ الحقيقيّ، أمَّا الاثنانِ في الحرَّة، فعدَدٌ محضٌ لا دلالةَ للفظِ المفردِ عليه.

(وبإضافةِ الطَّلاقِ إلى كلِّها، أو إلى ما يعبَّرُ به عن الكلّ؛ كأنت طالق، أو رأسك، أو رقبتك، أو عنقُك، أو روحُك، أو بدنُك، أو جسدُك، أو وجهُك، أو فرجُك، أو إلى جزءٍ شائعٍ كنصفِك، أو ثُلُثِك يقعُ، وإلى يدِها، أو رجلِها لا، وكذا الظَّهْر، والبطن، وهو الأظهر⁵)(٣)، لأنَّه لا يعبِّرُ بهما عن الكلّ،

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only Allah knows best.

Written by Maulana Ubaidur Rahman

Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah.

Darul Ifta Birmingham