Fatwa ID: 04730
Answered by: Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Is it better for a Muslim to commit suicide if constantly tempted by kufr and shirk?
Even now and then I get tempted to engage in magic. Magic has a type of temptation to it like a drug. I have social anxiety and low self-esteem and I keep to myself as much as possible. When I was a child I was glued to cartoons and novels and used to fantasise that I was living these unsavoury worlds, to the point now where I don’t know how to live in the real world. I’m constantly battling to stay in Islam. I wake up a Muslim and go to sleep with a commitment to leave, followed by a sharp turning back to Islam and so on and so on back and forth.
My question is, that during this sharp turn back to Islam, would committing suicide be the lesser of 2 evils, as I’m going to die one day anyway, and at least its be dying as a Muslim rather than risk dying a kafir.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
It is not permitted for you to kill yourself under any circumstance and this is a great sin in the sight of Allah (SWT).
Allah (SWT) says-
وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُمْ رَحِيمً
And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. 
The Messenger of Allah (saw) said-
وَمَنْ قَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ بِشَىْءٍ عُذِّبَ بِهِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ
“He who killed himself with a thing would be tormented on the Day of Resurrection with that very thing.” 
To commit suicide is not the lesser of two evils. These are not the options available to you. You must struggle against these evil thoughts and rectify yourself.
It is clear that you have been affected by your lifestyle and the corrupt thoughts which you have allowed entering into your head. It seems that you also fear the impact these actions are having on your Iman. This is in itself a good sign that you have faith in your heart, so you must work on making that Iman firmer.
Now is the time for you to make a firm resolve to change and rectify your heart and deeds. Renew your belief in Allah (SWT) and remind yourself why He is you, Creator and Master. Remind yourself why you are His servant and why He (SWT) deserves nothing less than worship and obedience from you. Whenever you feel the temptation to sin or shirk or kufr, turn back to Allah (SWT) and remind yourself how utterly needy you are of Him.
He is the only one who can save you in the Dunya and Akhirah. Don’t do anything to ruin that.
Remember that Allah (SWT) has also provided us with a means of forgiveness for our sins and mistakes. Firstly, acknowledging them is a start. Now you must repent sincerely and make a firm resolve to never turn back again. Allah (SWT) is Al-Ghafoor, the Most Forgiving, and He will forgive you.
You must take practical steps to remove the bad thoughts you have, by replacing them with good. This means traveling on the path of correct knowledge. Only by having the correct knowledge will you be able to wipe away the bad thoughts. Act upon correct knowledge only and push away any evil thought which comes to you immediately. Keep good company, with those that will remind you of Allah (SWT). You will see that the good effects of the good company will remain with you even when you are alone.
Seek protection from the Shaytaan and his evil whisperings. Keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah (SWT). Read the duas and verses of protection.
Just as you have built up these incorrect thoughts in your mind over a long period of time, you must realize that it may take some time to remove them and replace them with the good and correct Islamic thoughts. Therefore, a great deal of effort will be required from you. Do not become lazy in saving yourself.
Only Allah Knows Best
Answered by Alimah Nasima Umm Hamza
Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
 Holy Quran 4:29
 Sahih Muslim, Hadith Number 110