Fatwa ID: 08778
Answered by: Maulana Sakib Shadman
Question:
I have been kicked out of our marital home on multiple occasions in total four times the first three times I got kicked out I still continue to pay towards the house and the bills et cetera as normal but after being kicked out the fourth time I stopped, as I felt this was me being used and abused. I was verbally abused, emotionally abused and even threatened by the police to be called upon me if I don’t leave the marital home even though I had paid my share of the deposit towards the house when we purchased it, but because the house is in my wife’s name as we done that to save on stamp duty, she always has had that power over me in regards to the house, hence she has kicked me out to multiple times when I paid my part of the deposit it was agreed and promised from her side that once the house is completed, my name will also be put in the house legally, which has never been done and when I’ve recently bought that topic up they refused to do so and not put my name on the house.
I’ve been kicked out similar on previous occasions and each time I have come back to my mom‘s house like I mentioned before the previous occasions I continue to pay as a husband would but the fourth time I stocked because I thought to myself each time I get kicked out yet I still provide for her financially even though that house is not mine I’m paying towards a mortgage for her, I’m paying the bills for her yet I’m constantly being verbally abused emotionally abused even to an extent physically abused and kicked out of the house, I wanted know what does Islam say on the husband’s responsibility financially towards his wife in my situation where I have been kicked out multiple times of the marital home? After all the abuse and trauma I eventually stopped paying financially towards my wife do I still have to carry on paying that after no matter how I get treated? I have been put through a lot, by my wife but I continued paying the first, the second and the third time I got kicked out whilst I was living at my mum‘s but when the fourth time happened, I decided that I shouldn’t be now paying because I thought it was wrong that they emotionally play with me kicking me out of the house yet I’m supposed to always continue paying towards the house even though I’m not living there hence the fourth time round I stopped and refused to contribute to the house and her finances.
Can you please tell me if in this situation does my wife forfeit the right of financial support from her husband as in myself after kicking me out on that occasion on top of that abusing emotionally and verbally? I have contributed to the house when we purchased by giving a deposit, so I have a right over that house as well, but I always get kicked out over very very minor issues because she involves her mother in the smallest arguments because she goes back and tells her everything and then she encourages her to kick me out which sadly has happened four times. I would greatly appreciate a response.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
I am very sorry to hear that you are experiencing spousal abuse from your wife. Unfortunately in Western Countries where family laws favour women, some abusive wives exploit their legal power over their husbands.
If the house is only under your wife’s name, it is legally her responsibility to pay off her mortgage. It is not your responsibility. And while it is your duty to financially provide for your wife, if she expels you from her home, you are no longer required to financially provide for her.
It would be unfortunate if your marriage were to end due to minor arguments. Please visit a Muslim marriage counselor with your wife and sort out your issues.
Another solution would be to purchase or rent your own house under your name and ask your wife to sell her house. Even if she refuses to do so, request her to live in your house so that she does not have this power over you where she can expel you from her house whenever she pleases.
Again, it is your responsibility to provide housing for your wife. Thus it is more appropriate if the house is under your name. As a husband you MUST pay 100% of the bills, rent/ house deposit/ repayments, food, grocery and clothing expenses, etc for your wife. But again, her right expires when she becomes a Nashizah (i.e. she disobediently leaves your house without your permission or she expels you from your marital home)
References:
(قَوْلُهُ لَا نَاشِزَةٍ) بِالْجَرِّ عَطْفٌ عَلَى الزَّوْجَةِ أَيْ لَا تَجِبُ النَّفَقَةُ لِلنَّاشِزَةِ وَهِيَ فِي اللُّغَةِ الْعِصَابَةُ عَلَى الزَّوْجِ الْمُبْغِضَةُ لَهُ، يُقَالُ نَشَزَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا فَهِيَ نَاشِزَةٌ، وَعَنْ الزَّجَّاجِ النُّشُوزُ يَكُونُ بَيْنَ الزَّوْجَيْنِ وَهِيَ كَرَاهَةُ كُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا
ص194 – كتاب البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق ومنحة الخالق وتكملة الطوري – الزوجية – المكتبة الشاملة
(خَارِجَةٌ مِنْ بَيْتِهِ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ) وَهِيَ النَّاشِزَةُ حَتَّى تَعُودَ وَلَوْ بَعْدَ سَفَرِهِ خِلَافًا لِلشَّافِعِيِّ، وَالْقَوْلُ لَهَا فِي عَدَمِ النُّشُوزِ بِيَمِينِهَا، وَتَسْقُطُ بِهِ الْمَفْرُوضَةُ لَا الْمُسْتَدَانَةُ فِي الْأَصَحِّ كَالْمَوْتِ، قَيَّدَ بِالْخُرُوجِ؛ لِأَنَّهَا لَوْ مَانَعَتْهُ مِنْ الْوَطْءِ لَمْ تَكُنْ نَاشِزَةً –
ص576 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – مطلب لا تجب على الأب نفقة زوجة ابنه الصغير – المكتبة الشاملة
احتج الشافعي في المسألة، وقال: بأن ملك الزوجين مفارق عن صاحبه: لا حق للزوج في مال المرأة، ولا المرأة في مال الزوج، ولهذا نقول: بأنه تقبل شهادة كل واحد منهما على صاحبه
ص497 – كتاب رؤوس المسائل للزمخشري – القطع بسرقة أحد الزوجين من الآخر – المكتبة الشاملة
قَالَ (النَّفَقَةُ وَاجِبَةٌ لِلزَّوْجَةِ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا مُسْلِمَةً كَانَتْ أَوْ كَافِرَةً إذَا سَلَّمَتْ نَفْسَهَا إلَى مَنْزِلِهِ فَعَلَيْهِ نَفَقَتُهَا وَكِسْوَتُهَا وَسُكْنَاهَا) وَالْأَصْلُ فِي ذَلِكَ قَوْله تَعَالَى ﴿لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ﴾ وقَوْله تَعَالَى ﴿وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾ وَقَوْلُهُ ﵊ فِي حَدِيثِ حَجَّةِ الْوَدَاعِ «وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ» وَلِأَنَّ النَّفَقَةَ جَزَاءُ الِاحْتِبَاسِ
ص378 – كتاب فتح القدير للكمال بن الهمام ط الحلبي – باب النفقة – المكتبة الشاملة
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best
Written by Maulana Sakib Shadman
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
