Jokingly Wanting To Marry a Person Who I Had Met

CategoriesMarriage [653]

Fatwa ID: 05190


Answered by: Maulana Ishaaq Hussain




I was hoping you could answer this question I have already asked but never got a reply so I probably didn’t make myself clear enough. In the past I have met with many boys in private and them boys have asked me to marry them and I’ve said yes etc (let’s pretend maybe that declaration was made) and I happen to have people overhearing our conversation of Nikah and witness this Nikah. However, I and the boys aren’t aware of this and never will be I was wondering if Nikah is done. I am. A changed person and I keep getting waswasa that what if people heard me and my Nikah is done with one of these boys and what if when I actually marry with parents’ permission I am actually committing even bigger zina?


Please can you confirm to me that Nikah Isn’t done when the witnesses aren’t there for the specific reason of Nikah and therefore nikah isn’t done if people happen to just randomly overhear it? Please help a sister out and reply because this is driving me to insanity.



In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.





It should be borne in mind that adultery (Zina) is one of the major sins in Islam. In the Holy Quran Allah (SWT) has said “And do not go near to Zina. It is shamelessness and is an evil way.” (Bani Israeel v.32)


Such a person will not only suffer punishment and calamity in this world but also in the hereafter. Worst of all he/she invites the wrath of Allah upon himself.


Those Ahadeeth who condemns adultery and fornication are as follows:


The Prophet of Allah (SAW) said, there is no sin which is more severe in the eyes of Allah (SWA) after committing shirk than a person planting his semen into a womb, which is unlawful.” (Kanzul Ummal)


The Prophet of Allah (SAW) said, “Allah’s anger becomes intense upon the fornicators.” (Kanzul Ummal)


Therefore, one should abstain from such actions, which will invite the wrath of Allah (SWA) and repent for one’s actions. However, this does not mean you can’t do anything about it. Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Kind and he forgives all our sins if we sincerely repent for our shortcomings however grave and serious they may be.


With regards to conducting a marriage, the contract of Nikah concluded is through offer (ijab) and acceptance (kabool) using words that express the past tense. (Hidayah p 325 v 2)


This is to ensure certainty. The purpose is to convey the meaning that the contract has already taken place in conformity with the intention of the parties. The form must be such that it cannot be interpreted as a query, surprise, or something else.


The marriage is also concluded with two expressions where one of them expresses the past and the other the future, like one party saying, “Marry me”, and the other saying, “I have married you”. (ibid)


Furthermore, the contract of Nikah is not concluded unless there are present two Muslim, free, major and sane male witnesses, or one male and two women…. (Ibid)


The conclusion to your question can be drawn out as follows. If the offer and acceptance (Ijab and Kabool) were NOT concluded by using the past tense or was not concluded by one of the expressions being said in the past tense and the other in the future, then Nikah will NOT have taken place.


A person agreeing to get married is not the same as conducting a marriage. The above criteria that have been mentioned above must be found for a Nikah to be valid.


These doubts and waswasas that you are having are from the accursed shaitan who puts it into people’s hearts. The best way to address this problem, in the short term is not to think about it at all and be brave, and do not let shaitan overpower you; the more you think about it the more it will escalate. In the long term, try to get into a habit of doing zikr and remembering Allah (SWT) as shaitan finds it easy to manipulate and cause difficulties to those people who do not have Allah (SWT) words and blessings in them.




Only Allah Knows Best

Written by Maulana Ishaaq Hussain

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham




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