Marrying someone who does not share the same culture as me.

CategoriesMarriage [658]

Fatwa ID: 02818

Answered by: Maulana Moinul Abu Hamza​


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

So I'm currently in a situation where I am in love with a girl that does not share the same culture as me.

Recently I have stopped speaking to her and left it on the terms where if we are written then we will, iA be brought back to one another by Allah SWT. I believe more so my reasoning to do this was because of the fear of my Allah SWT. He has given me the world. I cannot continue to disobey him.

I continuously make dua that my Allah SWT writes myself for this girl and writes her for me. I also pray Allah SWT takes care of all the culture clashes, language barriers, community outroar, family disagreements that will take place if we do end up returning to one another. I know full well my Allah SWT will take care of this if he brings her back to me and so long as I ask.

My question today is, what is the fiqh ruling on cross culture marriages? Especially when I know my family will definitely have a problem with it and my parents will most probably give me the cold shoulder for some period of time until they come to terms with it.

I really would like to marry this girl but I know my parents will give me grief for this so I also want to do Istikhara to consult my Allah SWT with regards to what will be best for my situation. My heart is very much for marrying this girl so is it ja'iz for me to do Istikhara?

Also Moulana, can you send me a link or can you write within this email, the correct way to do Istikhara with regards to bedding, dua, intention, communication, phone etc. Please let me know. Jazāk'Allāhu Khair.

I believe I'm more so scared because from my entire family, mother's side and father's side – there is not a single person that has got married outside of our culture. I have always been against it and have always hated when racial remarks have been made about other cultures from a young age but alongside this, I don't want to make my parents upset and stop them from being happy with me.

May Allah SWT reward you for opening a means to the ummah whereby they are able to consult 'ulamah with their issues through the internet.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

There is no cultural barrier that is recognised in Islam other than the barrier people choose to create. People are welcome to like their own cultures but not to view themselves to be superior to the extent that it is used as a means to prevent two people marrying.

As for dua of Istikhara, this previous response may help:

And Allah (swt) knows best.


Answered by Maulana Moinul Abu Hamza

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham



About the author