Marrying with Fathers approval

CategoriesMarriage [642]

I did nikah with a man of my choice.  I am over 25 years old.  This man is also my partner is business (how we met)

My parents know him and I know that they like him a lot.   My mother used to show a keen interest in me marrying him but I used to laugh it off. My husband comes to see my father frequently as my fathter has had a stroke few months ago he was very ill – lapse of memory, depression anxiety, sleeplessness for a year. He only started getting a bit better in July 2007. This is how he grew close to me and my family and he proposed to me and we got married.

iIdid not tell my parents about the marriage as I knew they would want my husband to take me home, but my husbands situation is such that he is not in a position to tell his mother.(father deceased) My husband is having a problem with his brother who will not call over his wife from india. His mother has been mentally weak since his fathers death 10 years ago and he is afraid of causing her more stress on top of what she is dealing with due to his brother.

We thought it would be best to wait a little while until the matter with his brother is resolved either way.  Also his mother may not take it positively as I am his second wife he has been separated from his first wife for a while.

Telling our families that we have got married would add to the tension in his house as my parents will put pressure on him to take me home. To be honest I do not want us getting married to be used as an excuse for his brothers decisions. So we both decided it would be best for us to wait until that matter resolves itself before we tell them. My brother who is 26 was at my nikkah he was my wali.  He agreed to the wedding and knows my husband is a genuine sincere person the problem is his circumstances. He married me because he wanted to give me the respect I deserve and he will tell his mother but she will not be in any position to think straight if we tell her now she will take all her negative feelings towards her other son out on us.

I know my parents will not have any objection the problem is his mother. I did sit my father down before I got married and asked him if he wanted me to marry somone of his choice I would do it for his happiness. My father replied he had no one in particular in mind and that I should marry someone my mother and I think I will be happy with and not let anyone force me.

My question is my father when I asked my father about marriage he gave me permission to decide and chose who I wish to marry.  Due to my husbands circumstances I could not tell my parents therefore my brother was my wali ad he is aware of all the facts. 

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.


The general principle according to the Hanafi school of taught is that the marriage of a free sane and adult woman without the approval of her guardian (wali) like her father is valid if the person she is marrying is a legal and suitable match for her. If the person she is marrying is not a legal or suitable match there are differences of opinions with the mufta-bihi-qawl (upon which the fatwa has been given) is on the verdict of Imam Abu Yusuf and Imam Muhammad. They say due to the corrupt nature of society if a woman gets married without her guardian’s permission, the marriage will still be valid.

(Raddul Muhtar p.157 v.4)

In regards to your question, as long as your father has given permission and he is happy with it and furthermore, the husband whom you have married is a legal match for you, the marriage conducted will be deemed correct and permissible.

Only Allah Knows Best

Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham.

About the author