Meeting the prospective suitor
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Answer
It is recommended to look at the suitor one intends to marry. It is something, which has been encouraged by the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam.
Saaiduna Mughira Ibn Shubah Radiallahu Anhu narrates that he proposed to a woman for marriage. The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said to him, “Look at her, for it may produce love between you.” (Sunan Tirmizi p.207 v.1)
Saaiduna Jabir Radiallahu Anhu narrates that he Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “When one of you proposes to a woman for marriage, then if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so.” (Sunan Abi Dawud p.291 v.1)
The person is only permitted to look at the suitors face and hands, even if there is desire (shahwah) but this is when one genuinely believes it is very likely he will get married to her.” (Mazahirul Haqq p.18 v.4 & Raddul Muhtar p.67 v.4)
If the prospective suitor refuses the proposal then you should to sabr (patient) and Inshallah look for another girl. Finally, it is not a religious duty to tell her how you feel about this particular woman. If you intend to marry her then you can mention how you feel and why you will be a good husband for this woman.
Furthermore, the meeting should be done in such a way where you and the woman are not alone. It will be appropriate if you have a meeting with the woman and her wali.
Saaiduna Abullah Ibn Abbas Radiallahu Anhu narrates that the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “A man must not remain alone in the company of a woman and a woman must not travel except that her mahram is accompanying her.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham.
