Fatwa ID: 07395

 

 

Answered by: Maulana Ubaidur Rahman

 

Question:

 

I have been talking to a boy and have gotten to know him and we both like and care for each other and wish to get married. I can‘t get married right now because I know my mom wouldn‘t approve of it since she would want me to complete my degree first.

 

I have thought of telling her that I want to have a nikkah with him at least so that I can stop keeping this secret from my mother and have a halal relationship but I‘m too scared she will act in a bad way and not approve of him or make me stop talking to him or something of the sort. The thought of that happening is ruining my mental health and I don’t know what to do. please help. JazzakAllah

 

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

Answer:

 

Allah states in the Quran:

 

And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose.¹

 

Before two people get married to each other, it is important that both the man and the woman deeply search out the meaning and purpose of each other being in a marital relationship with one another. This can be done primarily by observing and registering compatibility with each other. Both man and woman need to observe if they are on the same standing and level in regard to religion/ piety, wealth, earning capacity (from the man’s side and his ability to provide for his to-be wife in accordance with her social standing) as well as social status.

 

In relation to your question regarding your Mother and the way in which she is not approving of the marriage, it is not necessary for her complete approval for the marriage to go forward in terms of Islamic law – the marriage will be complete, but it would lack the essence and blessings of family community and connection which is one of the main purposes and results of marriage; to join different families together and uniting them both through the marriage of a member from each side (the son or daughter respectively.)

 

It should be explained to your mother softly about the way in which your degree studies will not be affected inshallah by the occurrence of your marriage with the person whom you are intending to marry, in order to make the existing form of relationship halaal especially. Make dua to Allah for him to make the means of you informing her easy for you seeking the best of results which Allah alone knows best regarding. Seek the help of Allah and his guidance.

 

 

 

² Kitaab az Ziwaaj, Page 17, Maktabatus Shaamila.

³Kitaab uz Ziwaaj, Page 31, Maktabatus Shaamila.

⁴Kitaab at Tajreed lil Qudoori, Page 276, Volume 9, Maktabatus Shaamila.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only Allah knows best

Written by Maulana Ubaidur Rahman.

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah.

Darul Ifta Birmingham.