Fatwa ID: 04386
Answered by: Alimah Sabrina Al-Faarsiyyah
Assalam Alaikum, I was about to get married to this man but recently we got to know about this topic and my fiancé told me that once, ten years back, he touched my mother's hand but suddenly lustful desires developed. But it's was a touch only. And my mother didn't get to know that. That time he repented and never ever did that again. He didn't know that time that he will be having a chance to marry me after ten years. Also that time he was not religious but now he is totally changed.
Now everyone knows I'm going to marry him and I'm so worried about how to convince others about this hurmah. Also, it's depressing for us both to leave each other and difficult to stay away from sin. Few imams say it's valid and few say it's not valid. Which is the right opinion? What shall I do?
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
For hurmatul musaharah to occur,
- both the male & female must have reached maturity,
- the clothes of the female must have been so thin that when touched, one feels the warmth of her body;
- he must have been feeling desire at the exact time he touched her (not before or after) and must have gotten an erection.
If he felt desire exactly when he touched her, due to the touch of her hand, whether the desire was for her or just to get intimate with another female, then hurmatul musaharah has taken place. As such, this women’s ancestors (mother, grandmother & so on) and descendants (daughter, granddaughter & so on) become haram upon him for marriage. Since you are her daughter, then you become haram upon him for marriage. On the other hand, if any of the above conditions is missing, you both can get married and should not expose this incident to anyone.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Alimah Sabrina Al-Faarsiyyah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham