Fatwa ID: 06810
Answered by: Maulana Abdel Sheik Abdel Ahad
Question:
I am asking this question with a lot of shame but I need to solve this problem. I had great difficulty managing my desires since my teenage and I got addicted to porn and sexting. This was because I had a lot of family issues (broken family). I made this as my escape from stress.
But I was able to get rid of this addiction a few years ago before marriage. Now I have been married for three years but our relationship has broken down. My wife usually refuses sex and I am getting addicted to sexting again.
I would like how to get rid of this addiction. A problem that I face is that I go into these chat rooms thinking that I will have a normal chat or do dawah but end up sexting many times. Now I have a very long list of girls on Snapchat and other apps for sexting and I do not know how to detach from them. I think that I will tell many of these girls that this is wrong and then leave. I do this sometimes thinking this will clear my sins if I am successful in stopping these girls from sexting. Most of these girls are Muslim and some are married. Please advise me, on how to get out of this mess.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
- One must always remember the promise of Allah and at any cost think that there is no hope for him/her, as mentioned in surah Az-Zumar,
“Say (on My behalf), “O servants of Mine who have acted recklessly against their own selves, do not despair of Allah’s mercy. Surely, Allah will forgive all sins. Surely, He is the One who is the Most-Forgiving, the Very-Merciful.”
- The Messenger (peace be upon him) has shown the ummah a way to control his carnal desires, which is too fast, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire. (Bukhari and Muslim.)
- One should discard all means that will lead him to commit evil and limit himself to what will suffice his needs. Get a simple phone with no access to this filth, if that also can be discarded will be best.
- As physical disease needs treatment and a follow-up by an expert in the field, spiritual disease as well be treated by the Ulama e Haq, a person to whom you feel at ease to explain your issues clearly and openly as well to be ready to execute the treatment given.
Allah the Most High says in surah Al-Ahzaab,
“O you who believe, fear Allah, and speak in straightforward words.”, You should sit together with your wife and openly explain that her refusal to you will bring issues for her.
As stated in the hadith “If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.” Sahih al-Bukhari.
And for you, this will lead you to Zina.
39:53
۞ قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ٥٣
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَوَانَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي حَازِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ، فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ ”. تَابَعَهُ شُعْبَةُ وَأَبُو حَمْزَةَ وَابْنُ دَاوُدَ وَأَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ.
Sahih al-Bukhari 3237
Chapter 7: If anyone says Amin [during the Salat (prayer) at the end of the recitation of Surat Al-Fatiha], Book 59: Beginning of Creation
33:70
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًۭا سَدِيدًۭا ٧٠
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ
Mishkat al-Masabih 3080
Chapter: Section 1, Book 13: Marriage
Grade: مُتَّفق عَلَيْهِ
17:32
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَـٰحِشَةًۭ وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًۭا ٣٢
7:17
ثُمَّ لَـَٔاتِيَنَّهُم مِّنۢ بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَـٰنِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَآئِلِهِمْ ۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَـٰكِرِينَ ١٧
15:39
قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَآ أَغْوَيْتَنِى لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَلَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ ٣٩
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Maulana Abdel Sheik Abdel Ahad
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
