Revealing a previous unlawful relationship at the time of marriage
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Firstly, I would like to advise you to sincerely repent from what you have done. Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Kind and he forgives all our sins if we sincerely repent for our shortcomings however grave and serious it may be.
The following are some ahadith which have been taken from Imam Nawawi’s Riyadhus Saliheen indicating towards the merciful nature of Allah (SWA).
- Saaiduna Abu Hurairah Radiallahu Anhu reports that ‘I heard the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam saying: “By Allah, I seek Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him more than seventy times a day” ‘ (Sahih Bukhari).
- Saaiduna Al-Agharr bin Yasar Al-Muzani Radiallahu Anhu narrated that: ‘The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said: “Turn you people in repentance to Allah and beg pardon of Him. I turn to Him in repentance a hundred times a day” ‘.
- Saaiduna Anas bin Malik Radiallahu Anhu, the servant of the Prophet of Allah narrated: ‘The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “Verily, Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His slave than a person who lost his camel in a desert land and then finds it (unexpectedly)” ‘.
(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).
- Saaiduna Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari Radiallahu Anhu reported: The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said: “Allah, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west”. (Sahih Muslim)
- Saaiduna Abu Hurairah Radiallahu Anhu narrated: ‘The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said, “He who repents before the sun rises from the west, Allah will forgive him” ‘.(Sahih Muslim].
The scholars have written if the sin committed is related to Allah (SWA), like homosexuality, then there are 3 conditions for the repentance of the sinner to be accepted.
1. Refrains from committing the same sin again.
2. Feels ashamed at what he has done.
3. Makes a firm intention of not committing that sin again.
Secondly, with regards to your question, I would have said that you should reveal what happened to you to any prospective suitor. As concealing such information may lead to problems later on in the marriage if the husband was to find out that this happened to you and you did not inform him.
However, after speaking to my respected teachers of the world famous Islamic institute Darul Uloom, Bury, they said that generally such secrets will put off a prospective suitor from marrying you, but as your parents are actively looking for a suitor, therefore, it will be permissible for you not to disclose what happened to you to a prospective suitor. Generally speaking a man cannot tell whether his wife has lost her virginity before or not, therefore, you should not worry about what your new husband may be thinking whilst having sexual contact with you.
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham.