Fatwa ID: 08775

 

 

Answered by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam

 

Question:

I wanted to ask for guidance. There’s a girl and I who want to get married for the sake of Allah, to avoid falling into haram. However, our families are making it very difficult, not because of any valid reason from the deen, but because they don’t want marriage outside our caste or their personal choice.

We have been trying continuously for the past six months to convince them, with patience and respect, but they are not willing to agree. Instead, this has caused us immense mental and emotional stress.

I’m a 22 year old student and not fully financially stable yet, but I believe Allah will put barakah in our rizq through marriage. We are considering doing a nikah at the masjid, even without their approval, because we want our relationship to be halal in the sight of Allah.

Is it permissible to proceed in this way? What is the correct course of action Islamically in this situation?

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

 

Answer:

 

In the Hanafi madhhab, a mature, sane Muslim woman may contract her own marriage without a wali’s consent if the groom is suitable in religion and character. However, in the Shafi, Maliki, and Hanbali schools, the wali’s approval is required for the nikah to be valid. While such a marriage may be valid under the Hanafi view, it is still highly recommended to involve families and seek reconciliation to avoid long-term harm and social tension.

 

It is permissible, although not encouraged for a man and woman to marry without parental approval if the objection is based solely on cultural factors (such as caste) and not on any valid Islamic grounds. Marriage in Islam should be based on religion and character, as the Prophet ﷺ said:

Abu Huraira (ra) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption.”[1]        [Tirmidhī 1084]

 

Rejecting a suitable proposal without Shari reasons causes harm and can lead to emotional hardship, temptation, and even zina, all of which Islam seeks to prevent.

 

If no progress is made and there is risk of falling into sin, a private but valid nikah can be a halal alternative, but it must be approached with maturity and foresight. If all attempts at reconciliation have failed, and the family’s objection is purely cultural, it is permissible to proceed with nikah under the Hanafi Fiqh, provided all other conditions of nikah are met.

 

If both parties are of age, mentally sound, and practising Muslims, and the woman is not under the guardianship of a strict madhhab requiring a Wali’s consent, then it would be permissible according to the Hanafi madhhab to proceed with a Shariah-compliant nikah with two reliable Muslim witnesses, a mahr (dowry), and the consent of both parties.

“And whoever fears Allah – He will make a way out for him…”[2]

[Surah Talaq 65:2]

 

The decision should be made with maturity, caution, and consultation with local Mufti’s, scholars or mediators. It is not sinful to marry in this case, but maintaining family ties remains important if this path is chosen. However, it is better and wiser to involve families and try all peaceful means first.

 

Doing so without your families’ knowledge or support can lead to long-term emotional and social consequences and should only be a last resort after exhausting all avenues of reconciliation and communication. Be prepared for social fallout and act with wisdom, patience, and grace.

 

Continue making dua as Allah is the Turner of Hearts. Ask for guidance, clarity, and opening of doors. Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a local Mufti/Imam, community elder, or trusted scholar, to mediate.

 

 

References:

 

[1]  عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ

1084 سنن الترمذي كتاب النكاح باب ما جاء إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه فزوجوه

 

[2]  وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجۡعَل لَّهُۥ مَخۡرَجٗا

 

 

Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.

Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham