Fatwa ID: 08638

 

 

Answered by Alimah Humairah Badshah

 

Question:

 

I would really like some advice I have been married nearly three years and my husband has still not consummated our marriage. We have tried several times and he just cannot perform nor does he have any urges. I wonder what is the next steps or your advice. We would really like to start a family but I am worried that I will run out of time I will be turning 36 my husband is 40. I do not know if it is psychological or a physical illness the doctors are doing tests but have found nothing significant but is there a solution to this as I am getting emotionally distressed over this whole situation.

 

 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

 

 

Answer:

 

Impotence in a husband, whether physical or psychological, is a serious matter and not something which should be taken lightly. It is completely reasonable that such a matter would cause great distress for the wife.

 

In such a situation, the wife has the right to take the case to a qualified Islamic judge. Should the husband’s impotence go uncontested, the judge will give the husband one (solar) year to fix his condition. If the year passes with no change in the matter, the wife is given the choice to be separated from her husband or not. Should she choose separation, the judge will order the husband to give her one irrevocable divorce, and should he refuse to do so the judge will separate the husband and wife.

 

However, going to the Islamic courts is the most severe option. One should ideally explore other options first.

 

Since the medical professionals appear to believe that the husband’s problem is not physical, he may wish to address the physiological side of the matter and seek the help of a mental health professional. He may wish to explore sexual health counselling or professional psychosexual services for help with his condition.

 

Should the problem continue to persist, it would be completely understandable if the wife desired separation. It would be best for the wife to have an open and honest conversation with her husband and request him to let her go with goodness and give her a divorce.

 

 

References:

 

الْبَابُ الثَّانِي عَشَرَ فِي الْعِنِّينِ

 هُوَ الَّذِي لَا يَصِلُ إلَى النِّسَاءِ مَعَ قِيَامِ الْآلَةِ، فَإِنْ كَانَ يَصِلُ إلَى الثَّيِّبِ دُونَ الْأَبْكَارِ أَوْ إلَى بَعْضِ النِّسَاءِ دُونَ الْبَعْضِ، وَذَلِكَ لِمَرَضٍ بِهِ أَوْ لِضَعْفٍ فِي خَلْقِهِ أَوْ لِكِبَرِ سِنِّهِ أَوْ سِحْرٍ فَهُوَ عِنِّينٌ فِي حَقِّ مَنْ لَا يَصِلُ إلَيْهَا كَذَا فِي النِّهَايَةِ

…

إذَا رَفَعَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ زَوْجَهَا إلَى الْقَاضِي وَادَّعَتْ أَنَّهُ عِنِّينٌ وَطَلَبَتْ الْفُرْقَةَ فَإِنَّ الْقَاضِيَ يَسْأَلُهُ هَلْ وَصَلَ إلَيْهَا أَوْ لَمْ يَصِلْ فَإِنْ أَقَرَّ أَنَّهُ لَمْ يَصِلْ أَجَّلَهُ سَنَةً سَوَاءٌ كَانَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا

 

Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.522

 

وَيُشْهِدُ عَلَى التَّأْجِيلِ وَيَكْتُبُ لِذَلِكَ تَارِيخًا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ ابْتِدَاءُ التَّأْجِيلِ مِنْ وَقْتِ الْمُخَاصَمَةِ كَذَا فِي الْمُحِيطِ لَا يَكُونُ هَذَا التَّأْجِيلُ إلَّا عِنْدَ قَاضِي مِصْرَ أَوْ مَدِينَةٍ فَإِنْ أَجَّلَتْهُ الْمَرْأَةُ أَوْ أَجَّلَهُ غَيْرُ الْقَاضِي لَا يُعْتَبَرُ ذَلِكَ فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ فِي التَّأْجِيلِ تُعْتَبَرُ السَّنَةُ الْقَمَرِيَّةُ فِي ظَاهِرِ الرِّوَايَةِ كَذَا فِي التَّبْيِينِ وَهُوَ الصَّحِيحُ كَذَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ

رَوَى الْحَسَنُ عَنْ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – أَنَّهُ تُعْتَبَرُ سَنَةٌ شَمْسِيَّةٌ وَهِيَ لَا تَزِيدُ عَلَى الْقَمَرِيَّةِ بِأَيَّامٍ وَذَهَبَ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ السَّرَخْسِيُّ فِي شَرْحِ الْكَافِي إلَى رِوَايَةِ الْحَسَنِ أَخْذًا بِالِاحْتِيَاطِ، وَكَذَلِكَ صَاحِبُ التُّحْفَةِ، وَهَذَا هُوَ الْمُخْتَارُ عِنْدِي كَذَا فِي غَايَةِ الْبَيَانِ وَهُوَ اخْتِيَارُ شَمْسِ الْأَئِمَّةِ فِي الْمَبْسُوطِ، وَاخْتِيَارُ الْإِمَامِ قَاضِي خَانْ وَالْإِمَامِ ظَهِيرِ الدِّينِ فِي التَّأْجِيلِ أَنَّهُ يُقَدَّرُ بِسَنَةٍ شَمْسِيَّةٍ أَخْذًا بِالِاحْتِيَاطِ كَذَا فِي الْكِفَايَةِ وَعَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى كَذَا فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ عَنْ شَمْسِ الْأَئِمَّةِ الْحَلْوَانِيِّ الشَّمْسِيَّةُ ثَلَاثُمِائَةٍ وَخَمْسَةٌ وَسِتُّونَ يَوْمًا وَرُبْعُ يَوْمٍ وَجُزْءٌ مِنْ مِائَةٍ وَعِشْرِينَ جُزْءًا مِنْ الْيَوْمِ، وَالْقَمَرِيَّةُ ثَلَاثُمِائَةٍ وَأَرْبَعَةٌ وَخَمْسُونَ يَوْمًا كَذَا فِي الْكَافِي

 

Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.523

 

جَاءَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ إلَى الْقَاضِي بَعْدَ مُضِيِّ الْأَجَلِ وَادَّعَتْ أَنَّهُ لَمْ يَصِلْ إلَيْهَا وَادَّعَى الزَّوْجُ الْوُصُولَ، فَإِنْ كَانَتْ ثَيِّبًا فِي الْأَصْلِ كَانَ الْقَوْلُ قَوْلَهُ مَعَ الْيَمِينِ، فَإِنْ حَلَفَ بَطَلَ حَقُّهَا، وَإِنْ نَكَلَ خَيَّرَهَا الْقَاضِي، وَإِنْ قَالَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ: أَنَا بِكْرٌ نَظَرَ إلَيْهَا النِّسَاءُ، وَالْوَاحِدَةُ تَكْفِي وَالثِّنْتَانِ أَحْوَطُ فَإِنْ قُلْنَ هِيَ ثَيِّبٌ كَانَ الْقَوْلُ قَوْلَهُ مَعَ الْيَمِينِ، وَإِنْ قُلْنَ هِيَ بِكْرٌ أَوْ أَقَرَّ الزَّوْجُ أَنَّهُ لَمْ يَصِلْ إلَيْهَا خَيَّرَهَا الْقَاضِي فِي الْفُرْقَةِ كَذَا فِي شَرْحِ الْجَامِعِ الصَّغِيرِ لِقَاضِي خَانْ

…

إنْ اخْتَارَتْ الْفُرْقَةَ أَمَرَ الْقَاضِي أَنْ يُطَلِّقَهَا طَلْقَةً بَائِنَةً فَإِنْ أَبَى فَرَّقَ بَيْنَهُمَا هَكَذَا ذَكَرَ مُحَمَّدٌ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى – فِي الْأَصْلِ كَذَا فِي التَّبْيِينِ وَالْفُرْقَةُ تَطْلِيقَةٌ بَائِنَةٌ

 

Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah (Daar Al-Fikr, https://shamela.ws) v.1 p.524

 

 

Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.

Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham