Fatwa ID: 08095
Answered by: Moulana Ateiq-ur Rehman
Question:
Salamalaikum, my nikkah took place in November 2023, and my marriage fell apart in under 2 months as the girl’s side would mistreat me. Before marriage, I told them I had an inheritance, and so they set the mehr at £15k if I give divorce, and the girl herself asked for £2k mehr, of which only half is given. The mehr also included 10 tola gold. They were insistent on me buying a house for her too, but after the constant abuse, I decided it wouldn’t be in my best interest to buy it as they were adamant on it being right by their house, 1hr away in Nottingham. The girl’s side is insistent on a divorce, including the girl and her father, who told me himself to divorce her or buy her house. Since this, they invited my mother and me to their house under false pretences and beat us both when we were unsuspecting and outnumbered. This matter is going to court already. The advice I needed was where do I stand on the mehr within this sham marriage. I personally do not want to give her a penny more. If she requests a khula down the line, what does that entail for me? She owes me money outside of the mehr, and she has in her possession £1k and 10 tola gold (equivalence of £5k). JZK.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Allah سبحانه وتعالى mentions in the Quran:
﴿وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَاۤءَ صَدُقَـٰتِهِنَّ نِحۡلَةࣰۚ فَإِن طِبۡنَ لَكُمۡ عَن شَیۡءࣲ مِّنۡهُ نَفۡسࣰا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِیۤـࣰٔا مَّرِیۤـࣰٔا﴾
“Give women their dower in good cheer. Then, if they forego some of it, of their own will, you may have it as pleasant and joyful.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:4)
From this Quranic ayah, we can understand that the command of Allah is to fulfill the dowry in an amicable and gracious manner. One should agree to a dowry that they can fulfill, as the right to the dowry is due on the demand of the bride either before or after a divorce, and the wife can also forego some of it if she wishes.
Below is a narration of Hadrat Umar رضي الله عنه who mentions the negative implications of setting high dowries:
It was narrated that Abul-Ajfa as-Sulami said: “I heard ‘Umar رضي الله عنه say: Do not make women’s dowries expensive, do not make women’s dowries expensive, for had this been a sign of honour in this world or piety before Allah, the first one of you to do it would have been the Prophet (ﷺ). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, any more than twelve Oasiyyahs as a dowry. And a man will go to great trouble in order to offer a high dowry to his wife. On one occasion he said: A man would pay his wife a high dowry until he feels resentment towards her and says: You cost me everything I own, even the string to tie a waterskin and hang it up…” (Musnad Ahmad 285)
From the above Quranic ayah and the narration of Hadrat Umar رضي الله عنه, we can learn that the dowry should not be set too high, as was the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, so there is no difficulty in presenting the dowry to the bride. Setting high dowries is not only difficult to fulfill, but failure or difficulty in presenting it can cause issues within the marriage.
Based on the information provided:
The £15,000 Mehr upon your initiation of divorce: This condition set by the girl’s side is problematic. The right to divorce lies with the husband, and setting a high financial penalty specifically for him initiating it can be seen as coercive and potentially exploitative. Islamic law encourages amicable separation, and such a condition adds undue financial pressure.
The £2,000 Mehr requested by the girl: If your agreement at the time of nikkah was for a £2,000 mehr, then that is what is binding. You have already paid £1,000. The remaining £1,000 is still owed to your wife unless she willingly foregoes it.
The 10 Tola Gold: If the 10 tola gold was explicitly part of the agreed-upon mehr, then you are obligated to provide its equivalent value (if not the gold itself). However, if it was given as a gift during the nikkah or afterwards, it is considered a gift, and you generally do not have the right to reclaim it.
The House: The insistence on you buying a house as part of the mehr is also problematic, especially under duress and with specific conditions on its location. While a house can be part of the mehr, it should be agreed upon freely and without coercion. Given the circumstances and the breakdown of the marriage, you are not obligated to purchase a house, especially if it was a condition imposed due to your inheritance.
Your Stance on Further Payment:
Given the mistreatment and the circumstances surrounding the marriage, your reluctance to pay more than what was genuinely agreed upon as mehr is understandable. You are obligated to fulfill the agreed-upon mehr (the remaining £1,000 of the £2,000), and the equivalent value of the 10 tola gold if it was part of the mehr. The £15,000 condition for you initiating divorce is questionable.
Khula’ (Divorce Initiated by the Wife):
If your wife requests a khula’, it entails a divorce initiated by her, typically with some form of compensation to the husband in return for the divorce. The standard ruling in khula’ is that the wife returns the mehr she received.
Regarding the Money and Gold in Her Possession:
The £1,000: If this £1,000 is separate from the mehr and is money she owes you for another reason, you have a right to claim it back.
The 10 Tola Gold (Equivalence of £5,000): If this gold was part of the mehr and she possesses it, then in the case of a khula’, she would typically return it or its equivalent value to you. If it was a gift, the ruling would be different.
In conclusion:
You are obligated to pay the remaining portion of the agreed-upon mehr (£1,000) and the value of the 10 tola gold if it was part of the mehr. The £15,000 condition for your divorce initiation is not standard. If your wife seeks khula’, she would generally return what she received as mehr. You have a right to claim back the £1,000 she owes you separately. The status of the 10 tola gold (whether mehr or gift) needs clarification to determine its treatment in a potential khula’.
Given the serious allegations of mistreatment and assault, it is crucial that you pursue the legal matter in court to protect yourself and your mother. In parallel, seeking guidance from a knowledgeable and trusted Islamic scholar or a Shariah council who can review all the details of your nikkah contract and the events that transpired would be highly beneficial in resolving the mehr issue according to Islamic law.
Reference:
«عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ، يَقُولُ أَلَا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ أَلَا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلَا أُصْدِقَتْ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُبْتَلَى بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ وَقَالَ مَرَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى تَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَحَتَّى يَقُولَ كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ»
(Musnad Ahmad, book 2, hadith 195)
(لِأَخْذِ مَا بَيْنَ تَعْجِيلِهِ) مِنْ الْمَهْرِ كُلِّهِ أَوْ بَعْضِهِ (أَوْ) أَخَذَ (قَدْرَ مَا يُعَجَّلُ لِمِثْلِهَا عُرْفًا) بِهِ يُفْتَى، لِأَنَّ الْمَعْرُوفَ كَالْمَشْرُوطِ (إنْ لَمْ يُؤَجَّلْ) أَوْ يُعَجَّلْ (كُلُّهُ) فَكَمَا شَرَطَ لِأَنَّ الصَّرِيحَ يَفُوقُ الدَّلَالَةَ إلَّا إذَا جُهِلَ الْأَجَلُ جَهَالَةً فَاحِشَةً فَيَجِبُ حَالًّا غَايَةٌ، إلَّا التَّأْجِيلُ لِطَلَاقٍ أَوْ مَوْتٍ فَيَصِحُّ لِلْعُرْفِ بَزَّازِيَّةٌ. وَعَنْ الثَّانِي لَهَا مَنْعُهُ إنْ أَجَّلَهُ كُلَّهُ،
Kitab Hashiyat Ibn Abidin = Radd al-Muhtar ta Halabi (Al-Maktaba al-Shamila 3:144)
Only Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) knows best.
Written by Maulana Ateeq-ur Rehman
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
