Fatwa ID: 08362
Answered by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Question:
I have a confusing question regarding talaq. I had issued talaq to my wife in 3 different sittings. I have had ongoing issues with my wife from early years of marriage. First was written, 2nd was over WhatsApp text and 3rd was during a heated argument where I was angry, I gave it verbally (although I was under subconscious pressure as I had fallen in love with someone else and that was one of the reason I wanted out from this marriage).
After issuing the 3rd talaq I had gone on holiday for two weeks and on my return my wife wanted me to take her back. She then got in touch with Birmingham Central Mosque and she had spoken with an imam (she told the imam that I was doing things out of character I was angry but not under any black magic). I was later added to the call and the imam only asked if I was angry when I issued the 3rd thalaq which I was but not to the degree that I couldn’t comprehend or have forgotten what I uttered. He then asked if I needed anger management (which I didn’t).
He then said to keep families together this talaq was invalid? There was no fatwa issued, just an opinion over call which was all narrated by the first wife and I was only to answer two questions if I was angry and if I needed anger management. I have no knowledge about how talaq works, so I took her back and without her knowledge, I married the woman who I was dating (she was under the impression that I had given talaq to my first wife and it’s over with the first wife)
I have told many people that I and the first wife was divorced. Now it’s come to light to both my wives that I’ve been living with both.
I want them both to Co-wife as I feel hugely responsible for my children in my first marriage and wanting access to the house so I can be the authoritative figure and I manage the household. However, my second wife is challenging that my first marriage is over and I’m living in Zina with my first wife. And my first wife wants me to divorce my second wife who I love and have a good relationship with.
I’m very confused as I don’t want to live in sin but then again I want to feel confidence that the first marriage is actually irrevocably terminated as I just went with the first opinion although it was narrated by the first wife. I did give the 3 talaqs in 3 separate sittings.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
The type of anger which renders one’s talaq invalid is that extreme anger which removes one from their sanity and senses to the extent that they do not know what they are saying, or that which causes one to enter a delirious state where one’s judgement is impaired which resembles severe intoxication. This does not appear to be the case in your third divorce according to your explanation in this question.
From your explanation of events here it seems that all three talaqs have been issued and therefore you are fully divorced from your first wife. Once three divorces have been issued in a marriage, re-marriage is not possible in the immediate future. Since you believe all three have been issued, it is necessary for you to act as such and separate from your first wife immediately, as continued relations with her would be zina. However, since there seems to be some uncertainty here, you should explain the full situation and exact wording of all three divorces to a qualified mufti.
It is not necessary for you to be married to your first wife in order for you to continue to be a good father to your children. While co-parenting with an ex-spouse can often be challenging, there are many resources available to help. You should communicate with your first wife clearly and openly and make a co-parenting plan. It may help for you both to bring in a third party whom you both trust for support and mediation.
References:
(قَوْلُهُ وَالْمَجْنُونُ)
قَالَ فِي التَّلْوِيحِ: الْجُنُونُ اخْتِلَالُ الْقُوَّةِ الْمُمَيِّزَةِ بَيْنَ الْأُمُورِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَالْقَبِيحَةِ الْمُدْرِكَةِ لِلْعَوَاقِبِ، بِأَنْ لَا تَظْهَرَ آثَارُهُ وَتَتَعَطَّلُ أَفْعَالُهَا، إمَّا لِنُقْصَانِ جَبَلٍ عَلَيْهِ دِمَاغُهُ فِي أَصْلِ الْخِلْقَةِ، وَإِمَّا لِخُرُوجِ مِزَاجِ الدِّمَاغِ عَنْ الِاعْتِدَالِ بِسَبَبِ خَلْطٍ أَوْ آفَةٍ، وَإِمَّا لِاسْتِيلَاءِ الشَّيْطَانِ عَلَيْهِ وَإِلْقَاءِ الْخَيَالَاتِ الْفَاسِدَةِ إلَيْهِ بِحَيْثُ يَفْرَحُ وَيَفْزَعُ مِنْ غَيْرِ مَا يَصْلُحُ سَبَبًا. اهـ. وَفِي الْبَحْرِ عَنْ الْخَانِيَّةِ: رَجُلٌ عَرَفَ أَنَّهُ كَانَ مَجْنُونًا فَقَالَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتُهُ: طَلَّقْتَنِي الْبَارِحَةَ فَقَالَ: أَصَابَنِي الْجُنُونُ وَلَا يَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ إلَّا بِقَوْلِهِ كَانَ الْقَوْلُ قَوْلَهُ. اهـ.
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.243
قُلْت: وَلِلْحَافِظِ ابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ الْحَنْبَلِيِّ رِسَالَةٌ فِي طَلَاقِ الْغَضْبَانِ قَالَ فِيهَا: إنَّهُ عَلَى ثَلَاثَةِ أَقْسَامٍ: أَحَدُهَا أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لَهُ مَبَادِئُ الْغَضَبِ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَتَغَيَّرُ عَقْلُهُ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيَقْصِدُهُ، وَهَذَا لَا إشْكَالَ فِيهِ. وَالثَّانِي أَنْ يَبْلُغَ النِّهَايَةَ فَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ، فَهَذَا لَا رَيْبَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْفُذُ شَيْءٌ مِنْ أَقْوَالِهِ.الثَّالِثُ مَنْ تَوَسَّطَ بَيْنَ الْمَرْتَبَتَيْنِ بِحَيْثُ لَمْ يَصِرْ كَالْمَجْنُونِ فَهَذَا مَحَلُّ النَّظَرِ، وَالْأَدِلَّةُ عَلَى عَدَمِ نُفُوذِ أَقْوَالِهِ. اهـ. مُلَخَّصًا مِنْ شَرْحِ الْغَايَةِ الْحَنْبَلِيَّةِ، لَكِنْ أَشَارَ فِي الْغَايَةِ إلَى مُخَالَفَتِهِ فِي الثَّالِثِ حَيْثُ قَالَ: وَيَقَعُ الطَّلَاقُ مِنْ غَضَبٍ خِلَافًا لِابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ اهـ وَهَذَا الْمُوَافِقُ عِنْدَنَا لِمَا مَرَّ فِي الْمَدْهُوشِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ أَنَّا لَمْ نَعْتَبِرْ أَقْوَالَ الْمَعْتُوهِ مَعَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَصِلَ إلَى حَالَةٍ لَا يَعْلَمُ فِيهَا مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ وَقَدْ يُجَابُ بِأَنَّ الْمَعْتُوهَ لَمَّا كَانَ مُسْتَمِرًّا عَلَى حَالَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ يُمْكِنُ ضَبْطُهَا اُعْتُبِرَتْ فِيهِ وَاكْتُفِيَ فِيهِ بِمُجَرَّدِ نَقْصِ الْعَقْلِ، بِخِلَافِ الْغَضَبِ فَإِنَّهُ عَارِضٌ فِي بَعْضِ الْأَحْوَالِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ الدَّهَشُ فَإِنَّهُ كَذَلِكَ. وَاَلَّذِي يَظْهَرُ لِي أَنَّ كُلًّا مِنْ الْمَدْهُوشِ وَالْغَضْبَانِ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَكُونَ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ بَلْ يُكْتَفَى فِيهِ بِغَلَبَةِ الْهَذَيَانِ وَاخْتِلَاطِ الْجَدِّ بِالْهَزْلِ كَمَا هُوَ الْمُفْتَى بِهِ فِي السَّكْرَانِ عَلَى مَا مَرَّ، وَلَا يُنَافِيهِ تَعْرِيفُ الدَّهَشِ بِذَهَابِ الْعَقْلِ فَإِنَّ الْجُنُونَ فُنُونٌ، وَلِذَا فَسَّرَهُ فِي الْبَحْرِ بِاخْتِلَالِ الْعَقْلِ وَأَدْخَلَ فِيهِ الْعَتَهَ وَالْبِرْسَامَ وَالْإِغْمَاءَ وَالدَّهَشَ. وَيُؤَيِّدُهُ مَا قُلْنَا قَوْلُ بَعْضِهِمْ: الْعَاقِلُ مَنْ يَسْتَقِيمُ كَلَامُهُ وَأَفْعَالُهُ إلَّا نَادِرًا، وَالْمَجْنُونُ ضِدُّهُ. وَأَيْضًا فَإِنَّ بَعْضَ الْمَجَانِينِ يَعْرِفُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيُرِيدُهُ وَيَذْكُرُ مَا يَشْهَدُ الْجَاهِلُ بِهِ بِأَنَّهُ عَاقِلٌ ثُمَّ يَظْهَرُ مِنْهُ فِي مَجْلِسِهِ مَا يُنَافِيهِ، فَإِذَا كَانَ الْمَجْنُونُ حَقِيقَةً قَدْ يَعْرِفُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيَقْصِدُهُ فَغَيْرُهُ بِالْأَوْلَى، فَاَلَّذِي يَنْبَغِي التَّعْوِيلُ عَلَيْهِ فِي الْمَدْهُوشِ وَنَحْوِهِ إنَاطَةُ الْحُكْمِ بِغَلَبَةِ الْخَلَلِ فِي أَقْوَالِهِ وَأَفْعَالِهِ الْخَارِجَةِ عَنْ عَادَتِهِ، وَكَذَا يُقَالُ فِيمَنْ اخْتَلَّ عَقْلُهُ لِكِبَرٍ أَوْ لِمَرَضٍ أَوْ لِمُصِيبَةٍ فَاجَأَتْهُ: فَمَا دَامَ فِي حَالِ غَلَبَةِ الْخَلَلِ فِي الْأَقْوَالِ وَالْأَفْعَالِ لَا تُعْتَبَرُ أَقْوَالُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَ يَعْلَمُهَا وَيُرِيدُهَا لِأَنَّ هَذِهِ الْمَعْرِفَةَ وَالْإِرَادَةَ غَيْرُ مُعْتَبَرَةٍ لِعَدَمِ حُصُولِهَا عَنْ الْإِدْرَاكِ صَحِيحٌ كَمَا لَا تُعْتَبَرُ مِنْ الصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ، نَعَمْ يُشْكِلُ عَلَيْهِ مَا سَيَأْتِي فِي التَّعْلِيقِ عَنْ الْبَحْرِ. وَصَرَّحَ بِهِ فِي الْفَتْحِ وَالْخَانِيَّةِ وَغَيْرِهِمَا، وَهُوَ: لَوْ طَلَّقَ فَشَهِدَ عِنْدَهُ اثْنَانِ أَنَّك اسْتَثْنَيْت وَهُوَ غَيْرُ ذَاكِرٍ، وَإِنْ كَانَ بِحَيْثُ إذَا غَضِبَ لَا يَدْرِي مَا يَقُولُ وَسِعَهُ الْأَخْذُ بِشَهَادَتِهِمَا وَإِلَّا لَا اهـ مُقْتَضَاهُ أَنَّهُ إذَا كَانَ لَا يَدْرِي مَا يَقُولُ يَقَعُ طَلَاقُهُ وَإِلَّا فَلَا حَاجَةَ إلَى الْأَخْذِ بِقَوْلِهِمَا إنَّك اسْتَثْنَيْت، وَهَذَا مُشْكِلٌ جِدًّا، وَإِلَّا أَنْ يُجَابَ بِأَنَّ الْمُرَادَ بِكَوْنِهِ لَا يَدْرِي مَا يَقُولُ أَنَّهُ لِقُوَّةِ غَضَبِهِ قَدْ يَنْسَى مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يَتَذَكَّرُهُ بَعْدُ، وَلَيْسَ الْمُرَادُ أَنَّهُ صَارَ يَجْرِي عَلَى لِسَانِهِ مَا لَا يَفْهَمُهُ أَوْ لَا يَقْصِدُهُ إذْ لَا شَكَّ أَنَّهُ حِينَئِذٍ يَكُونُ فِي أَعْلَى مَرَاتِبِ الْجُنُونِ، وَيُؤَيِّدُهُ هَذَا الْحَمْلُ أَنَّهُ فِي هَذَا الْفَرْعِ عَالِمٌ بِأَنَّهُ طَلَّقَ وَهُوَ قَاصِدٌ لَهُ، لَكِنَّهُ لَمْ يَتَذَكَّرْ الِاسْتِثْنَاءَ لِشِدَّةِ غَضَبِهِ، هَذَا مَا ظَهَرَ لِي فِي تَحْرِيرِ هَذَا الْمَقَامِ، وَاَللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِحَقِيقَةِ الْمَرَامِ ثُمَّ رَأَيْت مَا يُؤَيِّدُ ذَلِكَ الْجَوَابَ، وَهُوَ أَنَّهُ قَالَ فِي الْوَلْوَالِجيَّةِ: إنْ كَانَ بِحَالٍ لَوْ غَضِبَ يَجْرِي عَلَى لِسَانِهِ مَا لَا يَحْفَظُهُ بَعْدَهُ جَازَ لَهُ الِاعْتِمَادُ عَلَى قَوْلِ الشَّاهِدَيْنِ، فَقَوْلُهُ لَا يَحْفَظُهُ بَعْدَهُ صَرِيحٌ فِيمَا قُلْنَا وَاَللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ.
Radd Al-Muhtaar (Halabi ed., Daar Al-Fitr, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.244
رَجُلٌ عُرِفَ أَنَّهُ كَانَ مَجْنُونًا فَقَالَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتُهُ طَلَّقْتَنِي الْبَارِحَةَ، فَقَالَ أَصَابَنِي الْجُنُونُ وَلَا يُعْرَفُ ذَلِكَ إلَّا بِقَوْلِهِ كَانَ الْقَوْلُ قَوْلُهُ
Kitab Al-Bahr Al-Raa’iq (Daar Al-Kutub Al-Islaamiyyah, https://shamela.ws) v.3 p.268
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Alimah Humairah Badshah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
