Fatwa ID: 08410
Written by Alimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Question:
Is it permissible for a 60-year-old man to kiss children on the lips?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Abu Huraira (ra) reported: Al-Aqra’ ibn Habis saw the Prophet (ﷺ), kissing his grandson Hasan. He said, “I have ten children, and I do not kiss any of them.” The Prophet said, “Verily, whoever does not show mercy will not receive mercy.” [1]
This hadith highlights the importance of showing love and affection to children as the Prophet (ﷺ) admonishes Al-Aqra for the lack of expressing affection to his children. In Islam, the Prophet’s behaviour is an excellent model of kindness and mercy.
However, while expressing affection, it is necessary to maintain appropriateness and respect for personal boundaries, aligning with cultural norms and Islamic principles of modesty. Islam has established certain boundaries to safeguard the sanctity of family relations. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) taught the importance of setting appropriate boundaries as children mature, such as separating their beds by the age of ten. This principle extends to physical expressions of affection, emphasising caution as children approach maturity. These teachings highlight the value of compassion and physical expressions of love towards children in a nurturing and culturally appropriate manner, thereby preventing giving rise to lustful encounters. [2]
Kissing young children on the cheeks or forehead can be seen as a natural expression of affection and care within many cultures, including Islamic societies. However, kissing on the lips is generally not considered appropriate due to the potential for misunderstanding and the importance of teaching children about personal boundaries from a young age.
Given the widespread concerns in society today about child safety and maintaining clear boundaries, it is advisable to abstain from kissing children on the lips, especially as they grow, and their understanding of personal space develops, even if by a 60-year-old man. This approach helps in preserving the dignity of the child and adhering to the prophetic example of showing love in a manner that is respectful and appropriate.
Only Allah (عز و جل) knows best.
Written by Aalimah Saleha Bukhari Islam
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
References:
[1] عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ الْأَقْرَعَ بْنَ حَابِسٍ أَبْصَرَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُقَبِّلُ الْحَسَنَ فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي عَشْرَةً مِنْ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ وَاحِدًا مِنْهُمْ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّهُ مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمْ لَا يُرْحَمْ
5997 صحيح البخاري كتاب الأدب باب رحمة الولد وتقبيله ومعانقته
[2] (وَكُرِهَ) تَحْرِيمًا قُهُسْتَانِيٌّ (تَقْبِيلُ الرَّجُلِ) فَمَ الرَّجُلِ أَوْ يَدَهُ أَوْ شَيْئًا مِنْهُ وَكَذَا تَقْبِيلُ الْمَرْأَةِ الْمَرْأَةَ عِنْدَ لِقَاءٍ أَوْ وَدَاعٍ قُنْيَةٌ وَهَذَا لَوْ عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ، وَأَمَّا عَلَى وَجْهِ الْبِرِّ فَجَائِزٌ عِنْدَ الْكُلِّ خَانِيَّةٌ، وَفِي الِاخْتِيَارِ عَنْ بَعْضِهِمْ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ إذَا قَصَدَ الْبِرَّ وَأَمِنَ الشَّهْوَةَ كَتَقْبِيلِ وَجْهِ فَقِيهٍ وَنَحْوِهِ (وَ) كَذَا (مُعَانَقَتُهُ فِي إزَارٍ وَاحِدٍ) وَقَالَ أَبُو يُوسُفَ لَا بَأْسَ
ص380 – كتاب حاشية ابن عابدين رد المحتار ط الحلبي – باب الاستبراء وغيره – المكتبة الشاملة
