Fatwa ID: 05369

Answered by: Mufti Maruf Ahmed

Question

I would like to know, I have tried to be a step-parent for almost 12 years now, it’s very taxing, the one daughter is at a marriageable age. Their mom is not anywhere near accommodating or trying to make the site situation easy. She has made lots of incidents in our lives very hard. If either of the kids decides to get married

What is my right as it would not be OK or seem ok if we attend due to the constant conflict between parents, even my husband has very difficult moments with the x and x family. He himself knows it is going to be a hard task to attend any function with them… They however the kids and are pushing that no matter what their father must make sure he goes. I feel like how can he go to their function yes nikkah he has to be there but thereafter function how would it be possible to go. Firstly without us being his current family and secondly at the same place with all his ex inlaws

In the name of Allah the most Beneficent, the most Merciful

Answer

It is evident from your question that you and your husband do not get along well with your husband’s previous wife, and his daughter may get married soon. You are therefore concerned that due to the conflict, your husband may not be able to fully participate in the marriage proceedings even though his children want him present.

It is understandable that children want their biological father to be present at their wedding functions. Both parents should therefore put aside their differences for the sake of their children and cooperate to ensure that the wedding is a success. If need be, bring in a mediator or a ‘middle-man’ to support both families.

Nevertheless, it is easier said than done. One should therefore evaluate the positives and negatives of each possible decision, and decide accordingly. May Allah make things easy.

Only Allah knows best

Written by Mufti Maruf Ahmed

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham